1
00:00:37,725 --> 00:00:40,761
<i>- Hello?
- Sonny, it's your dad. You asleep?</i>

2
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:44,020
No. Hey, man. I was exercising.

3
00:00:44,314 --> 00:00:46,722
<i>- Bullshit. You were sleeping.
- I wasn't.</i>

4
00:00:46,983 --> 00:00:50,352
<i>This kid won't stop lying to me.
You still act like you're six.</i>

5
00:00:50,612 --> 00:00:53,945
<i>Yeah, okay, Dad.
I act like I'm six.</i>

6
00:00:55,033 --> 00:00:57,986
<i>Found a job yet, where
you work more than one day a week?</i>

7
00:00:58,244 --> 00:00:59,489
<i>I've been looking.</i>

8
00:01:00,329 --> 00:01:01,444
<i>Looking won't pay the rent.</i>

9
00:01:01,705 --> 00:01:04,113
<i>All the money I won
from the cab accident...</i>

10
00:01:04,374 --> 00:01:06,782
<i>... is kicking ass
in the stock market, so relax.</i>

11
00:01:07,044 --> 00:01:09,617
<i>- Don't blow it on worthless crap.
- I won't.</i>

12
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,912
<i>You should spend it on your bar exam.</i>

13
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,844
<i>You're the lawyer.
I ain't taking a bar exam.</i>

14
00:01:17,094 --> 00:01:19,051
<i>I got too much other shit going on.</i>

15
00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:22,512
<i>I don't know what happened to you.</i>

16
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:25,802
<i>How're things going with
your girlfriend, Vanessa?</i>

17
00:01:26,061 --> 00:01:27,259
Things are going fine.

18
00:01:27,562 --> 00:01:28,843
Shit!

19
00:01:29,231 --> 00:01:30,096
I gotta go.

20
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,978
Shit! You turned off
the alarm clock again.

21
00:01:33,234 --> 00:01:37,101
No! I mean, yes, I did,
but I thought you needed more sleep.

22
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:40,814
I shouldn't have stayed here.
That was a jerk thing to do.

23
00:01:41,075 --> 00:01:43,648
Why are you going to work?
It's Sunday.

24
00:01:43,911 --> 00:01:47,659
I'm not going to work. I'm going to
brunch with potential clients.

25
00:01:47,914 --> 00:01:51,497
That's how a party planner
gets business, by making contacts.

26
00:01:51,751 --> 00:01:55,001
Meet with me. I'll order in
from Cozy's. We'll have fun.

27
00:01:55,254 --> 00:01:59,003
I am sick of Cozy's.
You order in from there all the time.

28
00:01:59,258 --> 00:02:00,836
The delivery guy's your best friend.

29
00:02:01,093 --> 00:02:03,251
He happens to be pretty damn nice.

30
00:02:03,512 --> 00:02:05,303
This is a rough patch in my life.

31
00:02:05,556 --> 00:02:09,090
Syracuse is 0 and 3.
And I got those medical problems.

32
00:02:09,351 --> 00:02:10,382
Medical problems?

33
00:02:10,644 --> 00:02:14,261
A cab runs over your foot two years ago.
You're hospitalized one night.

34
00:02:14,522 --> 00:02:16,396
First of all, that cab was huge.

35
00:02:16,649 --> 00:02:20,729
And a jury decided that one night
of pain was worth $200,000.

36
00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:22,895
- So there you go.
- Whatever.

37
00:02:23,155 --> 00:02:25,397
Why are you being
so nuts to me lately?

38
00:02:25,782 --> 00:02:28,487
You refuse to move on
to the next phase.

39
00:02:28,785 --> 00:02:30,576
I'd like to have a family someday.

40
00:02:30,829 --> 00:02:33,498
I need someone I can rely on,
not a playmate.

41
00:02:33,873 --> 00:02:37,040
You need a father figure?
"Stop pulling your sister's hair!"

42
00:02:37,668 --> 00:02:40,954
You know what? I'm gonna go to
Syracuse to see my mom.

43
00:02:42,089 --> 00:02:44,959
- I'll be back on Wednesday.
- What are you talking about?

44
00:02:48,095 --> 00:02:52,139
I had call for delivery, but it was
crank call. You want chocolate cake?

45
00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:54,928
Come back later.
I'll Indian wrestle you.

46
00:02:55,184 --> 00:02:56,429
You're going down, sucker.

47
00:02:56,686 --> 00:02:57,717
We'll see about that.

48
00:02:57,979 --> 00:03:00,101
Okay. Peace, out.

49
00:03:00,523 --> 00:03:02,266
You're going to Syracuse?

50
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:04,351
I need time to think and so do you.

51
00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:05,641
Think about what?

52
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,524
Your life and why I should
be a part of it.

53
00:03:08,739 --> 00:03:09,568
All right.

54
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:13,108
While you're at it,
think about getting a real job.

55
00:03:13,368 --> 00:03:15,325
I got a real job!

56
00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:24,035
Patrick Ewing, nice shot.

57
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:27,458
- Hey, Sonny.
- What's up, buddy boy?

58
00:03:27,714 --> 00:03:29,790
I'm out the door. Hey, pal.

59
00:03:30,884 --> 00:03:32,544
- Where you going?
- Manhattan.

60
00:03:32,802 --> 00:03:34,344
You wanna take me with you?

61
00:03:34,596 --> 00:03:36,754
All right, I guess.

62
00:03:37,014 --> 00:03:38,806
Hold onto your money.
Later on.

63
00:03:39,058 --> 00:03:40,552
Okay, take care, Sonny.

64
00:03:41,143 --> 00:03:42,222
See you.

65
00:03:42,686 --> 00:03:44,643
Cadillac, I love it.

66
00:04:04,832 --> 00:04:06,290
Surprise!

67
00:04:06,542 --> 00:04:08,249
Just ignore him.

68
00:04:08,752 --> 00:04:11,421
It's only Sonny. It's only Sonny.

69
00:04:11,671 --> 00:04:14,043
Yeah, it's only me. It's only me.

70
00:04:14,757 --> 00:04:17,758
- What's going on?
- Corinne's going-away party for Kevin.

71
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,845
She didn't tell me.
The roommate has a right to know.

72
00:04:21,097 --> 00:04:23,303
She knew you'd ruin the surprise.

73
00:04:23,557 --> 00:04:24,588
No, I wouldn't.

74
00:04:27,186 --> 00:04:28,265
Hey, surprise.

75
00:04:28,729 --> 00:04:29,760
Surprise.

76
00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:33,305
What's going on?

77
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,272
We wasted the good surprise on you.

78
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,728
All right.

79
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,403
Is this your handiwork?

80
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,289
I guess.

81
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,410
See you in three hours.

82
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,076
Good to see you stiffs.
What've you been doing?

83
00:04:56,337 --> 00:05:00,121
Last three weeks have been crazy.
I've been in Denver, Dallas...

84
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:04,083
I'm sleeping in the office.
We're going to trial on the fraud case.

85
00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,298
Honey, it was a great surprise.
I was totally shocked.

86
00:05:07,556 --> 00:05:10,925
No, you weren't!
And I worked so hard on this.

87
00:05:11,184 --> 00:05:12,513
Need some help?

88
00:05:12,769 --> 00:05:15,058
- Honey, your sister's here.
- Hey, sweetie.

89
00:05:15,313 --> 00:05:17,222
I hate Sonny.

90
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:21,182
My client's out $7 million. All we
can sue on is breach of contract.

91
00:05:21,444 --> 00:05:24,812
Maybe you can sue under
the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

92
00:05:25,447 --> 00:05:28,234
I gotta get back to the office.
You're the king.

93
00:05:28,492 --> 00:05:29,950
Mikey, a pleasure.

94
00:05:30,285 --> 00:05:32,408
- I'll see you at home.
- All right.

95
00:05:34,873 --> 00:05:36,153
I'll walk you out.

96
00:05:38,251 --> 00:05:41,204
I gotta admit, I'm still
weirded out when they kiss.

97
00:05:41,462 --> 00:05:44,000
Why? They're gay.
That's what gay guys do.

98
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:47,956
I know, but they were like
brothers to us back in school.

99
00:05:48,218 --> 00:05:51,587
They're still like our brothers.
Our very, very gay brothers.

100
00:05:52,722 --> 00:05:55,758
What are you doing after this?
Going to a Klan meeting?

101
00:05:56,809 --> 00:06:00,593
Remember when Dad had that barbecue
for his friends and it rained...

102
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:03,061
...so he and Mom went into the
kitchen and made...

103
00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:06,399
...100 hamburgers with one frying pan?

104
00:06:07,111 --> 00:06:11,902
You're not gonna let a little rain
stop you from making 100 hamburgers.

105
00:06:25,628 --> 00:06:28,332
That relationship's lasted longer
than I thought it would.

106
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:31,875
Look at his eyes. He's bored.
I give it two more weeks.

107
00:06:32,133 --> 00:06:34,505
Hey, excuse me. Everybody!

108
00:06:35,386 --> 00:06:38,423
I'm sorry. I wanted to thank you
for coming tonight.

109
00:06:38,681 --> 00:06:40,056
I guess I should say...

110
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:43,932
I'm getting it.

111
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:48,682
Tomorrow I'm leaving for China to
represent the firm of Morton and Mandel.

112
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,772
Me, the same guy who once shaved
his ass to win a $5 bet.

113
00:06:53,403 --> 00:06:54,945
Prove it!

114
00:06:57,156 --> 00:06:58,319
Just kidding.

115
00:06:58,658 --> 00:07:02,073
But I am real glad you're all here
tonight, because...

116
00:07:02,328 --> 00:07:05,198
...I'm gonna do what I never thought
I'd have the guts to do.

117
00:07:05,956 --> 00:07:07,534
You're not proposing, are you?

118
00:07:11,503 --> 00:07:12,333
Yeah, pal, I am.

119
00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:14,663
Well, think about it, you know?

120
00:07:14,923 --> 00:07:16,333
God, Sonny, shut up!

121
00:07:20,678 --> 00:07:23,679
Anyway, will you?

122
00:07:24,682 --> 00:07:25,927
Yeah.

123
00:07:28,519 --> 00:07:30,262
Good call on the two weeks.

124
00:07:39,946 --> 00:07:41,606
Sonny, what was that all about?

125
00:07:41,864 --> 00:07:45,149
Congratulations. You and
"Big Boobs" McGee are gonna be happy.

126
00:07:45,409 --> 00:07:46,820
Don't call her that.

127
00:07:47,077 --> 00:07:51,240
You wanna tell your children you met
their mother as a waitress at Hooters?

128
00:07:51,581 --> 00:07:54,499
Sonny, that was five years ago.
She's a doctor now...

129
00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:56,827
...and my fiancée, so from now on...

130
00:07:57,086 --> 00:07:58,664
...Dr. Big Boobs McGee.

131
00:07:58,921 --> 00:08:01,210
- Congratulations.
- Thanks, man.

132
00:08:01,465 --> 00:08:03,209
I just...

133
00:08:03,968 --> 00:08:05,676
...got shit going on.

134
00:08:05,928 --> 00:08:06,959
What's the matter?

135
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:09,546
Vanessa's gonna break up with me...

136
00:08:09,806 --> 00:08:12,344
...and I don't know how
to make her wanna stay.

137
00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:14,926
She's getting older.
She wants different things:

138
00:08:15,186 --> 00:08:18,187
Career, stable relationship, a family.

139
00:08:18,439 --> 00:08:19,554
That's how they get.

140
00:08:19,816 --> 00:08:22,686
I want things to go back
to the way they used to be.

141
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:25,481
When we were at Syracuse,
and Vanessa worshiped you.

142
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:28,275
- That was nice.
- Nobody hassled you to get a job.

143
00:08:28,532 --> 00:08:30,323
Tommy and Phil showered separately.

144
00:08:31,743 --> 00:08:32,988
Those were the days.

145
00:08:33,828 --> 00:08:35,370
- What're you doing?
- lf I make this...

146
00:08:35,622 --> 00:08:38,077
...Vanessa will realize
she likes me the way I am.

147
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:39,661
You're going to the putt.

148
00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:42,118
Remember, the roof breaks
to the right.

149
00:08:44,421 --> 00:08:46,379
Yes! That's what I'm talk...

150
00:08:46,632 --> 00:08:47,877
Good God!

151
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:49,544
That can't be good.

152
00:08:54,889 --> 00:08:56,087
Where's Kevin?

153
00:08:56,391 --> 00:09:00,388
He already left. I guess
he forgot to say goodbye to you.

154
00:09:00,645 --> 00:09:03,978
- Why are you here?
- I'm cleaning because you're useless.

155
00:09:04,231 --> 00:09:06,852
Then what, you gonna go to
your Hooters reunion?

156
00:09:07,109 --> 00:09:10,608
You guys talk about whose ass
hangs out of their shorts the most?

157
00:09:10,988 --> 00:09:13,478
At least I can fit my ass
in my shorts, fatty.

158
00:09:13,865 --> 00:09:15,573
Speaking of fatty, whose is this?

159
00:09:15,825 --> 00:09:18,197
- I don't know.
- I'm eating it then.

160
00:09:19,412 --> 00:09:21,784
"We wasted the good surprise on you."

161
00:09:25,876 --> 00:09:27,667
Lady gave me $5 to bring him here.

162
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,497
- What do you mean?
- Later.

163
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,254
Are you selling raffle tickets?

164
00:09:39,472 --> 00:09:40,635
Oh, boy.

165
00:09:43,392 --> 00:09:46,013
<i>- Kevin Gerrity.
- I got something to tell you.</i>

166
00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:47,100
What's up?

167
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,350
There's a kid here.

168
00:09:48,605 --> 00:09:49,637
What kind of kid?

169
00:09:49,898 --> 00:09:52,140
If this note is true, it's your kid.

170
00:09:52,401 --> 00:09:53,599
What do you mean?

171
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,437
I'm having a tough time
reading this...

172
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,781
...but it says, "Dear Kevin:
This is Julian, your son.

173
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:03,703
I hope you understand why
I didn't tell you until now...

174
00:10:03,953 --> 00:10:07,618
<i>... but he needs your help.
I can't be his mother anymore."</i>

175
00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:09,616
<i>- This is ridiculous.
- Hang on.</i>

176
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:11,870
Who's this?

177
00:10:12,377 --> 00:10:14,453
This is my friend.

178
00:10:14,879 --> 00:10:19,007
- Is that Kevin on the phone?
- No, it's my Uncle Remus.

179
00:10:21,094 --> 00:10:22,636
What's your name?

180
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:24,252
Is he all right?

181
00:10:24,513 --> 00:10:26,340
He doesn't like you.
Leave us alone.

182
00:10:26,599 --> 00:10:27,927
You're such a dick.

183
00:10:28,183 --> 00:10:31,101
That was your girlfriend.
She was acting "Hooterific."

184
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,930
Who sent that note?

185
00:10:33,188 --> 00:10:34,053
"Jan."

186
00:10:34,314 --> 00:10:37,268
Jan...
I don't know any Jan.

187
00:10:37,525 --> 00:10:39,434
<i>- Where's he from?
- Where are you from?</i>

188
00:10:39,694 --> 00:10:40,690
Buffalo.

189
00:10:40,945 --> 00:10:42,984
I've never even been to Buffalo.

190
00:10:43,239 --> 00:10:44,863
Maybe it's a mistake.

191
00:10:45,116 --> 00:10:48,033
Is this like the time
you said my parents were dead?

192
00:10:48,285 --> 00:10:49,863
I swear, he's right here.

193
00:10:50,579 --> 00:10:53,330
I'm coming home.
I don't know what I'll say...

194
00:10:53,582 --> 00:10:54,661
Hang on. It says...

195
00:10:54,916 --> 00:10:59,163
..."If you won't take responsibility
for him, they found a foster family..."

196
00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:02,540
Yes, Uncle Remus,
I know the catfish are huge.

197
00:11:02,798 --> 00:11:03,961
<i>That's terrific.</i>

198
00:11:04,884 --> 00:11:06,342
Here's a number for a guy...

199
00:11:06,594 --> 00:11:09,298
<i>... at City Social Service.
Arthur Brooks. I'll call.</i>

200
00:11:09,555 --> 00:11:11,594
<i>- I'll come home.
- I'll take care of it.</i>

201
00:11:11,848 --> 00:11:12,844
Are you sure?

202
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,179
Yeah, don't worry.

203
00:11:16,061 --> 00:11:17,471
Hooters. Hooters. Hooters!

204
00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:19,768
<i>- All right. Thanks a lot.
- Later.</i>

205
00:11:22,859 --> 00:11:24,816
I'm gonna make another phone call.

206
00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:27,561
You want to come and sit down, pal?

207
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:35,110
Or you can stand there.
Anything you want. I'll be a minute.

208
00:11:37,414 --> 00:11:40,118
<i>Social Services
is closed today, Columbus Day.</i>

209
00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:42,747
<i>We'll be open tomorrow at 8 a.m.</i>

210
00:11:43,252 --> 00:11:45,126
Columbus Day.

211
00:11:47,131 --> 00:11:49,123
Boy, I don't know what to tell you.

212
00:11:49,383 --> 00:11:51,708
Everything's gonna get
figured out tomorrow.

213
00:11:51,969 --> 00:11:54,376
Can you be a tough little guy
until then?

214
00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:56,378
Great.

215
00:11:57,265 --> 00:12:00,515
Do I need to get you a bottle
of formula or something?

216
00:12:01,019 --> 00:12:02,133
What do you eat?

217
00:12:02,395 --> 00:12:03,723
Food.

218
00:12:04,063 --> 00:12:06,055
Yeah? I eat food too.

219
00:12:06,398 --> 00:12:08,474
What..? Come on.

220
00:12:11,653 --> 00:12:13,278
You need me to hold your hand?

221
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:17,444
On Mondays, I go to Central Park
and watch rollerbladers fall down.

222
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,823
- You into that?
- I don't know.

223
00:12:20,703 --> 00:12:22,411
Watch. This guy's humming.

224
00:12:22,663 --> 00:12:25,783
He's going down, he's going down,
he's going..!

225
00:12:28,252 --> 00:12:29,497
How old are you, anyways?

226
00:12:29,753 --> 00:12:31,212
Five.

227
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,708
You wear a diaper?

228
00:12:36,718 --> 00:12:38,627
You wipe your own ass then?

229
00:12:38,887 --> 00:12:41,175
You do? Good job. That's cool.

230
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,932
Come on, fall down. Fall down. Yes!
Come on, damn it.

231
00:12:45,184 --> 00:12:46,808
You suck. You suck!

232
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,389
Check this out.

233
00:13:03,201 --> 00:13:04,280
My God!

234
00:13:04,535 --> 00:13:07,489
There's a stick there.
Somebody should move it.

235
00:13:07,746 --> 00:13:10,830
<i>All right now, what way
would you put that on?</i>

236
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,490
This Columbo, he pretends
to be stupid...

237
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:15,537
...but he's really smart as a tack.

238
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,040
Oh, yeah, he is.

239
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:21,246
<i>You put the vane on down there.
Then this boat comes up.</i>

240
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,548
I wipe my own ass.

241
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,797
Me too.

242
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:31,141
So, Mr. Ass Wiper,
what's this guy's name?

243
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:33,012
Scuba Steve.

244
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,346
Does he ever take his flippers off?

245
00:13:36,147 --> 00:13:37,310
What if he goes bowling?

246
00:13:37,565 --> 00:13:40,650
They don't make him wear bowling shoes?
He wears flippers?

247
00:13:40,902 --> 00:13:41,732
Really?

248
00:13:41,986 --> 00:13:44,109
I had a doll like that at one time.

249
00:13:44,363 --> 00:13:46,901
But my cat, he bite his head off.

250
00:13:47,158 --> 00:13:48,486
What cat would do that?

251
00:13:48,742 --> 00:13:49,774
You calling me a liar?

252
00:13:50,035 --> 00:13:51,743
Hey, take it easy.

253
00:13:53,163 --> 00:13:54,194
Anyways...

254
00:13:54,456 --> 00:13:56,247
...Jets are playing tonight.

255
00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:59,286
We're gonna go to the Blarney Stone.
Wanna come?

256
00:13:59,627 --> 00:14:01,038
I've got more deliveries.

257
00:14:01,296 --> 00:14:03,917
Maybe you can also finish
the turkey on your lip.

258
00:14:04,173 --> 00:14:05,371
Right there.

259
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:11,971
<i>Let's crank up the Styx.</i>

260
00:14:12,222 --> 00:14:13,847
No music during the game.

261
00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:17,265
- It's halftime. Relax, Mr. Herlihy.
- Goddamn Jets.

262
00:14:17,519 --> 00:14:19,428
What are you doing in here, cutie?

263
00:14:19,979 --> 00:14:21,557
Watching football.

264
00:14:21,814 --> 00:14:24,732
- Who do you want to win?
- The goddamn Jets.

265
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:27,645
Have fun.

266
00:14:28,779 --> 00:14:32,907
Too bad you don't like girls.
I think you could've had her.

267
00:14:33,158 --> 00:14:35,483
- I'm thirsty.
- You're thirsty?

268
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,452
Are you allowed soda?

269
00:14:37,704 --> 00:14:38,534
I don't know.

270
00:14:38,788 --> 00:14:40,745
My mom always said
soda rots your teeth...

271
00:14:40,999 --> 00:14:43,287
...but you'll lose them
anyway, so rot on.

272
00:14:43,876 --> 00:14:45,999
- Can we get two root beers?
- Sure.

273
00:14:47,046 --> 00:14:51,339
When I graduated law school, we met
here every Monday to watch football.

274
00:14:52,676 --> 00:14:54,087
Who would meet you?

275
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,178
My friends, Vanessa.

276
00:14:56,721 --> 00:15:00,933
Vanessa always rooted against the team
I wanted to win just to bust my chops.

277
00:15:01,184 --> 00:15:04,766
But everybody's so busy with
their crap lately, no one comes.

278
00:15:05,021 --> 00:15:06,812
Like I'm not busy?

279
00:15:07,064 --> 00:15:10,433
Shut up or I'll smack you
through the wall like last Monday.

280
00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:13,895
Last Monday was a fluke.
Bring it on, woman.

281
00:15:17,532 --> 00:15:18,398
Anytime.

282
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,577
He drinks a lot of soda.

283
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:31,075
I'm telling you, buddy. Vanessa,
she's the one. I can't lose her.

284
00:15:31,336 --> 00:15:33,128
I'm not getting any handsomer.

285
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:36,998
Every day I get a little bit older
and balder and fatter.

286
00:15:37,259 --> 00:15:38,005
Fatter?

287
00:15:38,259 --> 00:15:41,628
At your age I could eat anything.
Wouldn't gain an ounce.

288
00:15:41,888 --> 00:15:45,470
Now, I have a chocolate shake,
my ass jiggles for a week.

289
00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:49,592
- Enjoy the metabolism while you got it.
- Metalobism?

290
00:15:50,979 --> 00:15:54,562
Good God, it's 2:30 in the morning.
You must be wrecked.

291
00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:58,566
Anyways, I had fun today.
Did you have fun?

292
00:15:59,362 --> 00:16:01,319
Yeah, you're all right.

293
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,485
Have a good one.

294
00:16:07,370 --> 00:16:09,327
Could I have a night-light?

295
00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:12,699
Night-light? I think I can
help you out. Hang on.

296
00:16:22,091 --> 00:16:23,040
Let's see here.

297
00:16:25,011 --> 00:16:26,837
There you go, all right?

298
00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,551
Are you my dad?

299
00:16:34,478 --> 00:16:36,221
No, I'm not, but...

300
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,599
...that Dad and Mom thing
we'll figure out in the morning.

301
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,526
You just go to sleep.

302
00:16:45,196 --> 00:16:47,568
- Good night.
- Good night.

303
00:17:02,754 --> 00:17:04,461
Go get the can, okay?

304
00:17:04,714 --> 00:17:06,753
Go! Go! Go!

305
00:17:09,927 --> 00:17:12,085
I'm thinking about keeping the kid.

306
00:17:15,223 --> 00:17:17,346
Remember when we went to
the pet store...

307
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:21,550
...and you wanted that puppy,
but I reminded you about feeding it...

308
00:17:21,813 --> 00:17:23,770
...cleaning it
and toilet training it?

309
00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:26,894
This is kind of like that,
except with a human.

310
00:17:27,151 --> 00:17:30,567
I mean, I'm glad you had fun and all,
but this is big.

311
00:17:30,821 --> 00:17:34,106
I gotta do something big.
I think Vanessa will respect that.

312
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:38,743
You think that since women get pregnant
to fix a troubled relationship...

313
00:17:38,995 --> 00:17:41,533
...why can't a guy adopt a kid
to do the same?

314
00:17:41,789 --> 00:17:45,407
I didn't think of it like that.
But yes, that's what I'm thinking.

315
00:17:45,668 --> 00:17:49,037
Sounds nuts to me, pal.
Do yourself a favor. Sleep on it.

316
00:17:49,296 --> 00:17:51,123
You're right.
Can I use your phone?

317
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,096
Arthur Brooks speaking.

318
00:17:59,347 --> 00:18:01,055
How you doing?
Kevin Gerrity.

319
00:18:01,307 --> 00:18:02,718
<i>Right on, Mr. Gerrity.</i>

320
00:18:02,976 --> 00:18:04,220
We were expecting you.

321
00:18:04,477 --> 00:18:07,727
Do you still got a foster family
lined up for Julian?

322
00:18:07,980 --> 00:18:08,810
Yes, we do.

323
00:18:09,065 --> 00:18:11,935
I've decided to
take care of the little guy.

324
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,900
Way to sleep on it, pal.

325
00:18:14,153 --> 00:18:16,904
You two want to get married,
I support that.

326
00:18:17,155 --> 00:18:21,235
When parents take the responsibility,
there's no bigger high for us.

327
00:18:21,493 --> 00:18:22,903
<i>I'm psyched about it too.</i>

328
00:18:23,161 --> 00:18:24,156
So that's it.

329
00:18:24,412 --> 00:18:26,369
Yep. Good luck
to you and your son.

330
00:18:27,581 --> 00:18:28,826
My son.

331
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:34,451
Goddamn stick!

332
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,172
That's my boy.

333
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:51,722
Go back to sleep.

334
00:18:54,022 --> 00:18:57,557
Well, I'm going back to sleep.
Nighty-night.

335
00:18:58,193 --> 00:18:59,687
I wet my bed.

336
00:19:17,669 --> 00:19:19,543
Oh, God.

337
00:19:19,921 --> 00:19:22,329
That's a shitload of piss.

338
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,728
There you go, all right?

339
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:40,854
No more wetness.

340
00:19:41,608 --> 00:19:45,273
Sleep, all right? Just try to sleep.
Stay asleep.

341
00:20:17,182 --> 00:20:19,009
Sit still!

342
00:20:19,684 --> 00:20:20,514
Lay!

343
00:20:28,484 --> 00:20:29,895
All right! I'm up!

344
00:20:30,152 --> 00:20:33,651
It smells like urine in this joint.
Good job.

345
00:20:34,656 --> 00:20:36,316
What're you doing there, boy?

346
00:20:36,575 --> 00:20:37,820
Making cereal.

347
00:20:38,076 --> 00:20:40,947
Oh, yeah? Why don't you
pour me a bowl?

348
00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:47,915
Or don't pour me a bowl. Either way.

349
00:20:48,169 --> 00:20:51,004
I got it. I got it.

350
00:20:52,464 --> 00:20:54,006
We can fix this.

351
00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:57,710
It's not a big deal.

352
00:20:57,969 --> 00:20:59,547
Look. See?

353
00:20:59,804 --> 00:21:01,963
See how quick it goes away?

354
00:21:02,932 --> 00:21:04,261
Crybaby, come on.

355
00:21:04,767 --> 00:21:06,261
Don't worry about it, boy.

356
00:21:08,813 --> 00:21:10,971
Scuba Steve, damn you!

357
00:21:12,149 --> 00:21:14,640
You think that's funny,
me getting hurt?

358
00:21:19,281 --> 00:21:23,029
There's a bright side to being up
before 11: McDonald's breakfast.

359
00:21:23,284 --> 00:21:26,119
I haven't been up for that
in 10 years. You wanna go?

360
00:21:27,497 --> 00:21:29,370
Tie your shoes, we'll go. Hurry.

361
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:33,370
It's like 12 blocks from here,
so tie quickly.

362
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:39,416
Do you need help with that?

363
00:21:39,674 --> 00:21:41,299
I can do it.

364
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:44,469
Let me do it.

365
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,926
You loop it, you swoop it and you pull.

366
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:54,269
You loop it, you swoop it, you pull.

367
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,430
Good. Let's go. We're in a hurry.

368
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,815
It's different for your generation.

369
00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,736
You've always had
McDonald's breakfast available.

370
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,018
I have?

371
00:22:03,279 --> 00:22:06,315
When I was born, all we had were
the burgers and fries.

372
00:22:06,574 --> 00:22:09,990
Maybe the fish sandwich. I'm not sure.
I'll get back to you.

373
00:22:10,244 --> 00:22:11,489
What are you doing?

374
00:22:12,121 --> 00:22:13,994
Oh, yeah, the hand-holding thing.

375
00:22:15,165 --> 00:22:18,949
My dad took us to McDonald's
the first morning they had breakfast.

376
00:22:19,211 --> 00:22:22,710
Everybody was baffled.
"Are these sausages or hamburgers?"

377
00:22:22,964 --> 00:22:24,672
I have to go to the bathroom.

378
00:22:24,924 --> 00:22:27,000
We're gonna be there
in a minute.

379
00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:28,718
I gotta go now.

380
00:22:28,970 --> 00:22:30,547
Didn't you pee enough in bed?

381
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,551
We only got nine minutes
to get there.

382
00:22:34,808 --> 00:22:37,809
But I gotta go to the bathroom.

383
00:22:38,061 --> 00:22:39,555
All right, let's go.

384
00:22:40,522 --> 00:22:42,645
Can my kid use the bathroom
for a minute?

385
00:22:42,899 --> 00:22:43,812
Customers only.

386
00:22:44,067 --> 00:22:46,143
He's just a kid.
We'll be in and out.

387
00:22:46,402 --> 00:22:47,731
That's not my problem.

388
00:22:47,987 --> 00:22:50,525
It's not your problem? All right.

389
00:22:50,865 --> 00:22:51,896
Come on.

390
00:22:54,451 --> 00:22:57,571
Here you are.
Your waiter will be right with you.

391
00:22:59,122 --> 00:23:00,497
I can't do it.

392
00:23:00,749 --> 00:23:03,121
What do you mean,
you can't do it? Just go.

393
00:23:03,376 --> 00:23:06,543
I'm scared. Could you do it too?

394
00:23:08,464 --> 00:23:09,662
All right.

395
00:23:12,593 --> 00:23:13,873
Here we go.

396
00:23:14,678 --> 00:23:16,089
And we're off.

397
00:23:18,181 --> 00:23:20,719
That's not too difficult, right?

398
00:23:20,976 --> 00:23:23,513
And we're both losing weight.

399
00:23:23,895 --> 00:23:27,098
Good job. We're gonna miss
breakfast. Let's go.

400
00:23:27,315 --> 00:23:28,892
Put it away.

401
00:23:32,153 --> 00:23:35,486
- Thanks, anyways.
- Sure thing. Anytime.

402
00:23:35,739 --> 00:23:37,364
Move your ass there, pee-boy.

403
00:23:37,616 --> 00:23:40,901
We only got five minutes,
five minutes. Now four.

404
00:23:41,161 --> 00:23:43,367
Come on. We're almost there.

405
00:23:43,747 --> 00:23:46,581
Hey, mister. Why are you
sitting on the ground?

406
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,162
This is where I live.

407
00:23:48,417 --> 00:23:49,413
We gotta get going.

408
00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:50,499
Why?

409
00:23:50,878 --> 00:23:54,247
In retrospect, I made some
bad choices after high school.

410
00:23:54,506 --> 00:23:56,250
- We gotta get going.
- Why?

411
00:23:56,508 --> 00:23:58,964
This was during the
so-called Disco Era...

412
00:23:59,219 --> 00:24:02,802
...but for me, it was more
the Doing Mushrooms Era.

413
00:24:03,056 --> 00:24:05,381
- We're gonna miss breakfast.
- Why?

414
00:24:05,642 --> 00:24:06,922
I never thought about that.

415
00:24:07,185 --> 00:24:09,676
I was never Mr. Popularity
in high school...

416
00:24:09,937 --> 00:24:12,428
<i>...and I watched Fantasia a lot.</i>

417
00:24:12,690 --> 00:24:14,267
- One day it clicked.
- Hey, yappy.

418
00:24:14,525 --> 00:24:16,731
If you end it,
you get an Egg McMuffin.

419
00:24:16,985 --> 00:24:19,061
How about a Sausage McMuffin
with hash browns?

420
00:24:19,321 --> 00:24:20,601
You got a deal.

421
00:24:22,198 --> 00:24:24,820
Look, look. He fell asleep.
Let's go.

422
00:24:25,618 --> 00:24:26,567
Let's go.

423
00:24:30,498 --> 00:24:33,119
Sausage McMuffin.

424
00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:34,620
Pardon me, sir.

425
00:24:34,877 --> 00:24:36,122
How you doing?

426
00:24:36,378 --> 00:24:37,837
What can I get for you?

427
00:24:38,088 --> 00:24:39,915
- What do you want?
- Cheerios.

428
00:24:40,173 --> 00:24:41,798
They don't got Cheerios.

429
00:24:42,759 --> 00:24:43,672
Lasagna.

430
00:24:43,927 --> 00:24:46,844
What's the matter?
We'll take hot cakes and sausage.

431
00:24:47,096 --> 00:24:49,089
Sorry. We stopped serving breakfast.

432
00:24:49,348 --> 00:24:51,257
We're four seconds late.

433
00:24:51,517 --> 00:24:54,933
You're 30 minutes and four seconds late.
Breakfast stops at 10:30.

434
00:24:55,145 --> 00:24:56,224
Horseshit!

435
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:00,895
Don't cry. Sorry.

436
00:25:01,151 --> 00:25:02,978
I was cursing at the lady, not you.

437
00:25:03,236 --> 00:25:04,267
Nice parenting.

438
00:25:04,529 --> 00:25:06,936
Thanks. Are you my therapist?
Take a walk.

439
00:25:07,198 --> 00:25:08,740
Do you want a Happy Meal?

440
00:25:08,991 --> 00:25:10,533
You got a Happy Meal?

441
00:25:10,785 --> 00:25:12,742
Will somebody
get the kid a Happy Meal?!

442
00:25:13,329 --> 00:25:14,324
Relax.

443
00:25:14,538 --> 00:25:15,913
Where's my Egg McMuffin?

444
00:25:16,123 --> 00:25:17,997
Breakfast is over at 10:30.

445
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:21,251
- Really? I thought it was 11.
- I thought that too.

446
00:25:22,754 --> 00:25:24,545
Total mind blower.

447
00:25:24,798 --> 00:25:27,004
Will you just relax? Here.

448
00:25:27,258 --> 00:25:28,918
What do you want me to do?

449
00:25:29,218 --> 00:25:32,302
You're gonna meet Vanessa tonight.
You'll like her.

450
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,253
You wanna see me get hurt?
That'll cheer you up?

451
00:25:36,183 --> 00:25:37,179
All right.

452
00:25:42,814 --> 00:25:44,688
You think that's funny?

453
00:25:46,025 --> 00:25:47,354
Good. No more crying.

454
00:25:47,610 --> 00:25:48,606
Are you okay?

455
00:25:48,861 --> 00:25:50,854
Next time, kill me.

456
00:26:07,003 --> 00:26:07,999
Let's do it, Rangers.

457
00:26:08,254 --> 00:26:10,745
<i>- Rangers against
the Tampa Bay Lightning.</i>

458
00:26:11,007 --> 00:26:12,252
<i>And at this stage...</i>

459
00:26:12,508 --> 00:26:16,340
<i>... it's as close as you can get
to a must-win game for the Rangers.</i>

460
00:26:16,595 --> 00:26:18,137
<i>Or they'll fall behind...</i>

461
00:26:18,347 --> 00:26:19,177
How you doing?

462
00:26:19,431 --> 00:26:20,344
How you doing?

463
00:26:21,016 --> 00:26:21,929
You like hockey?

464
00:26:22,225 --> 00:26:23,221
You like hockey?

465
00:26:23,768 --> 00:26:25,393
This is a big, important game.

466
00:26:25,645 --> 00:26:27,187
This is a big, important game.

467
00:26:27,689 --> 00:26:28,554
Cut the crap.

468
00:26:28,898 --> 00:26:30,061
Cut the crap.

469
00:26:31,692 --> 00:26:33,068
I'm serious. Don't do that.

470
00:26:33,319 --> 00:26:34,979
I'm serious. Don't do that.

471
00:26:35,237 --> 00:26:38,736
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck,
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

472
00:26:39,950 --> 00:26:41,492
That's what I thought. Shut up.

473
00:26:43,536 --> 00:26:44,699
Don't you take naps?

474
00:26:45,038 --> 00:26:46,034
Sometimes.

475
00:26:46,289 --> 00:26:47,487
Go take a nap.

476
00:26:47,749 --> 00:26:49,706
I'm too hungry to sleep.

477
00:26:50,543 --> 00:26:52,251
You want some food?

478
00:27:05,348 --> 00:27:07,424
Having a kid is great...

479
00:27:07,767 --> 00:27:12,014
...as long as his eyes are closed
and he's not moving or speaking.

480
00:27:34,625 --> 00:27:36,499
<i>He's taken down! Penalty shot!</i>

481
00:27:42,215 --> 00:27:43,959
How you doing? You sleepwalking?

482
00:27:44,718 --> 00:27:46,793
Why don't you go back sleepy?
Sleepy.

483
00:27:47,053 --> 00:27:48,595
Keep napping. What's this?

484
00:27:48,930 --> 00:27:49,843
Kangaroo song.

485
00:27:50,098 --> 00:27:53,680
That's terrific. And we'll watch this
after the game, okay?

486
00:27:54,018 --> 00:27:57,303
But after my nap,
I always watch the kangaroo song.

487
00:27:57,646 --> 00:28:01,430
It's overtime, and there's
a penalty shot about to take place.

488
00:28:01,775 --> 00:28:02,771
It happens every 10 years...

489
00:28:03,109 --> 00:28:05,066
Kangaroo song. Kangaroo song!

490
00:28:08,197 --> 00:28:10,688
All right!

491
00:28:11,784 --> 00:28:13,741
God! You were normal yesterday.

492
00:28:25,797 --> 00:28:27,624
I can't take this.
Are you serious?

493
00:28:27,882 --> 00:28:29,341
<i>Come and play</i>

494
00:28:31,761 --> 00:28:33,504
<i>What do you say?</i>

495
00:28:33,763 --> 00:28:35,091
Douche-bag kangaroo.

496
00:28:38,767 --> 00:28:40,345
Are you all hopped out?

497
00:28:44,189 --> 00:28:46,596
I don't know what to do.
Hopefully Vanessa will.

498
00:28:46,858 --> 00:28:50,274
I think she's back.
If she's not back, we'll wait for her.

499
00:28:50,528 --> 00:28:51,987
Get your coat. Clean up.

500
00:28:53,656 --> 00:28:56,692
Oh, God. You don't
have to pee, do you?

501
00:28:57,284 --> 00:28:59,360
- Do you swear?
- I swear.

502
00:29:01,330 --> 00:29:02,574
How come you're not going?

503
00:29:02,831 --> 00:29:06,531
I don't have to go. Only you and
my grandfather go every 30 seconds.

504
00:29:06,751 --> 00:29:09,705
Let's hurry it up, all right?
I'm keeping you company.

505
00:29:11,672 --> 00:29:14,590
He'll write your name on the wall.
Mind your business.

506
00:29:16,260 --> 00:29:18,299
Let's go. Let's go.

507
00:29:19,555 --> 00:29:21,381
Why do I need to meet this lady?

508
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,798
- Now it is your problem.
- Thank you.

509
00:29:24,059 --> 00:29:25,968
She's that lady I was
telling you about.

510
00:29:26,227 --> 00:29:28,801
She's gonna be a big part
of your life.

511
00:29:29,063 --> 00:29:32,017
I'm scared. What if she's not nice?

512
00:29:32,275 --> 00:29:33,473
Look.

513
00:29:34,026 --> 00:29:37,525
See these right here?
These are magic sunglasses, okay?

514
00:29:37,821 --> 00:29:40,028
If you're afraid, put them on
to become invisible.

515
00:29:40,282 --> 00:29:42,109
Really? Nobody can see me?

516
00:29:42,451 --> 00:29:43,565
Put them on.

517
00:29:47,705 --> 00:29:48,986
Sonny, I'm right here.

518
00:29:49,249 --> 00:29:51,288
Oh, the glasses. I couldn't see you.

519
00:29:51,542 --> 00:29:55,243
Keep those on. No one can notice you
until you decide they can.

520
00:29:55,504 --> 00:29:56,370
- Okay.
- Let's go.

521
00:30:00,384 --> 00:30:01,712
I'm still right here.

522
00:30:01,969 --> 00:30:04,127
Okay, all right, the glasses.

523
00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:10,174
Welcome back.

524
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:11,342
Who's that?

525
00:30:11,602 --> 00:30:13,891
Who's who? He's invisible.

526
00:30:15,606 --> 00:30:16,555
Can I come in?

527
00:30:17,274 --> 00:30:18,104
Sure.

528
00:30:18,776 --> 00:30:20,768
Any invisible people out here...

529
00:30:21,028 --> 00:30:23,020
...feel free to come in, okay?

530
00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:28,532
Sonny, I don't really know
what's going on right now.

531
00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:31,655
- We should talk...
- You said I got some thinking to do?

532
00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,193
So I did it.

533
00:30:33,539 --> 00:30:37,204
Just because I don't have a job
doesn't mean I don't wanna move on.

534
00:30:37,501 --> 00:30:39,790
Instead of saying that,
I figured I'd show you.

535
00:30:40,045 --> 00:30:42,334
- Before you say anything...
- Look at that.

536
00:30:42,673 --> 00:30:44,083
He took his sunglasses off.

537
00:30:44,341 --> 00:30:46,380
He wants you to see him.
He likes you.

538
00:30:47,010 --> 00:30:48,041
Julian, come here.

539
00:30:49,345 --> 00:30:50,804
Come here, pal.

540
00:30:51,180 --> 00:30:52,425
Vanessa...

541
00:30:52,682 --> 00:30:55,599
...I want you to meet Julian, my son.

542
00:30:56,769 --> 00:30:58,227
Our son. I adopted him.

543
00:30:59,688 --> 00:31:01,479
I don't know what to say.

544
00:31:01,732 --> 00:31:03,107
Don't say anything.

545
00:31:06,695 --> 00:31:08,105
Is someone in the bathroom?

546
00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:11,439
Why is the door shut?

547
00:31:11,699 --> 00:31:12,529
I don't know.

548
00:31:12,867 --> 00:31:13,981
You don't?

549
00:31:15,786 --> 00:31:17,245
I don't know.

550
00:31:20,833 --> 00:31:22,077
I can't believe this.

551
00:31:24,127 --> 00:31:24,957
Open up.

552
00:31:27,422 --> 00:31:29,249
Open the door!

553
00:31:30,216 --> 00:31:33,466
- Is everything okay?
- Oh, my God.

554
00:31:33,928 --> 00:31:35,920
I'm sorry. I was freaking out there.

555
00:31:36,180 --> 00:31:37,757
- I'm Sonny.
- Sid.

556
00:31:38,015 --> 00:31:41,929
I had an attack of paranoia. I thought
you were sleeping with my girl.

557
00:31:42,269 --> 00:31:43,644
I am.

558
00:31:43,895 --> 00:31:44,809
What's that?

559
00:31:46,189 --> 00:31:47,304
I am.

560
00:31:47,565 --> 00:31:50,981
That's what I was trying to tell you
before. I found someone.

561
00:31:51,235 --> 00:31:53,109
- This old guy?
- Sid.

562
00:31:53,362 --> 00:31:55,154
He's already achieved so much...

563
00:31:55,406 --> 00:31:58,276
...and yet he's still goal-oriented
and still focused.

564
00:31:58,534 --> 00:32:00,028
And he has a five-year plan.

565
00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:01,779
What is it? "Don't die"?

566
00:32:02,663 --> 00:32:06,874
I can't believe this. We got
a family now. This is what you wanted.

567
00:32:07,125 --> 00:32:09,830
You surprising me with a kid
that you adopted...

568
00:32:10,086 --> 00:32:12,411
...wasn't what I wanted.
- I did this for you.

569
00:32:12,672 --> 00:32:16,503
You wanted me to be more responsible.
I can't raise this kid alone.

570
00:32:16,759 --> 00:32:20,044
You remind me of my grandson.
You don't think things through.

571
00:32:20,304 --> 00:32:23,174
Hey, Old Man River, zip it
or I'll break your hip.

572
00:32:23,515 --> 00:32:25,472
- I'd like to see you try it.
- Shut up.

573
00:32:25,725 --> 00:32:28,263
How'd you misconstrue
the situation so badly?

574
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,144
I don't know.

575
00:32:31,522 --> 00:32:33,978
Deep down you must've known
this day was coming.

576
00:32:35,401 --> 00:32:37,726
You made the biggest mistake
of your life.

577
00:32:37,987 --> 00:32:40,109
I know you'll be missing me
when you got...

578
00:32:40,364 --> 00:32:42,652
...that big, white, wrinkly...

579
00:32:42,908 --> 00:32:44,366
...body on top of you...

580
00:32:44,618 --> 00:32:46,409
...with his loose skin...

581
00:32:46,661 --> 00:32:48,453
...and old balls.

582
00:32:48,705 --> 00:32:50,329
Gross.

583
00:32:58,005 --> 00:33:01,171
Excuse me. How you doing?
I'm Kevin Gerrity.

584
00:33:01,425 --> 00:33:04,260
I got an emergency problem.
Is Arthur Brooks around?

585
00:33:04,511 --> 00:33:05,970
I'll go get him for you.

586
00:33:06,221 --> 00:33:09,340
Stay where I can see you.
I gotta talk to this guy.

587
00:33:09,599 --> 00:33:11,093
Mr. Gerrity?

588
00:33:11,476 --> 00:33:14,642
- Arthur Brooks.
- How are you? I need to speak with you.

589
00:33:14,896 --> 00:33:16,888
I didn't tell you to come here, did I?

590
00:33:17,148 --> 00:33:19,187
I was gonna mail you
the paperwork.

591
00:33:19,441 --> 00:33:21,315
It's like the opposite of that.

592
00:33:21,777 --> 00:33:23,734
Look, I can't manage this kid.

593
00:33:24,071 --> 00:33:26,858
I ain't a good father.
I made a big mistake.

594
00:33:27,115 --> 00:33:27,897
Mistake?

595
00:33:28,158 --> 00:33:30,483
I had a mother lined up for him...

596
00:33:30,743 --> 00:33:33,365
...but she's banging
the Pepperidge Farm guy.

597
00:33:33,621 --> 00:33:35,827
The kid won't stop
peeing and throwing up.

598
00:33:36,082 --> 00:33:38,703
He's like a cocker spaniel.
I just...

599
00:33:38,959 --> 00:33:41,284
He'd be better off
with his natural mother.

600
00:33:42,004 --> 00:33:44,839
Well, she passed away last night,
Mr. Gerrity.

601
00:33:45,090 --> 00:33:49,419
She had cancer. She must have sensed
that her time was running short.

602
00:33:49,677 --> 00:33:52,347
She wanted her son to be with
the natural father.

603
00:33:55,308 --> 00:33:56,588
Loop.

604
00:33:57,435 --> 00:33:58,300
Pull.

605
00:33:59,186 --> 00:34:00,977
If you don't wanna take care
of him...

606
00:34:01,230 --> 00:34:04,764
...we'll take him. But he'll have to
chill in a group home.

607
00:34:05,025 --> 00:34:06,733
Group home? Like an orphanage?

608
00:34:06,985 --> 00:34:08,444
We don't call them that.

609
00:34:11,281 --> 00:34:14,234
Look, I did it.
Loop, swoop and pull.

610
00:34:14,492 --> 00:34:15,441
You did do it.

611
00:34:15,701 --> 00:34:17,077
Congratulations, kid.

612
00:34:17,328 --> 00:34:18,905
I showed him that.

613
00:34:19,163 --> 00:34:21,570
Why don't you go back over there, okay?

614
00:34:22,458 --> 00:34:25,079
- I'll call the Heatherton Home...
- Let's do this.

615
00:34:25,335 --> 00:34:28,704
I'll hang onto the kid
until you find him a new family.

616
00:34:28,963 --> 00:34:32,297
I don't know. I gotta watch out
for the kid's best interest.

617
00:34:32,550 --> 00:34:34,792
You said yourself you were a bogus dad.

618
00:34:35,052 --> 00:34:37,128
He's better off with me
than in an orphanage.

619
00:34:37,471 --> 00:34:40,140
I don't wanna put him in a home
any more than you do.

620
00:34:40,391 --> 00:34:43,178
Why don't we pretend you
didn't even come in here?

621
00:34:43,435 --> 00:34:46,352
I'll give you a shout
when I line up a family.

622
00:34:46,605 --> 00:34:47,803
- That's good.
- Later.

623
00:34:48,106 --> 00:34:49,897
Just don't make me regret this.

624
00:34:50,608 --> 00:34:52,102
Where are we going now?

625
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:56,488
I gotta make a phone call.
Just stay right here, all right?

626
00:35:01,869 --> 00:35:04,573
<i>- This is a collect call from:
- Your baby boy.</i>

627
00:35:04,830 --> 00:35:07,581
<i>- To accept charges, say, "Yes."
- Yeah, I'll accept.</i>

628
00:35:07,958 --> 00:35:09,867
Dad, how's it going?
How's Florida?

629
00:35:10,126 --> 00:35:13,495
Not too bad. Your mother got
a sunburn playing tennis.

630
00:35:13,755 --> 00:35:16,672
<i>- I got some interesting news.
- Oh, yeah? What?</i>

631
00:35:16,924 --> 00:35:18,632
Kind of adopted a kid.

632
00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:19,963
What do you mean?

633
00:35:20,219 --> 00:35:23,136
I'm talking about
you being a grandfather.

634
00:35:23,388 --> 00:35:25,132
Who the hell would give you a kid?

635
00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:26,849
Social Services.

636
00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:29,342
You idiot. You better give
that kid back.

637
00:35:29,602 --> 00:35:31,227
His mother's...

638
00:35:31,521 --> 00:35:32,683
Hang on.

639
00:35:32,939 --> 00:35:34,931
Go play with them pigeons, buddy.

640
00:35:35,233 --> 00:35:38,352
I tried to give him back.
I just can't. All right?

641
00:35:38,611 --> 00:35:40,021
I need your help.

642
00:35:40,362 --> 00:35:43,861
<i>I'm in a bad way. Vanessa dumped me.
I don't know what I'm doing.</i>

643
00:35:44,116 --> 00:35:45,859
You're damn right.

644
00:35:46,118 --> 00:35:47,861
The kid is always around.

645
00:35:48,119 --> 00:35:50,278
He never leaves me alone.

646
00:35:50,538 --> 00:35:53,741
You'd think he'd want some privacy.
I'm in deep shit.

647
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,787
Give that kid back before
you ruin both your lives.

648
00:35:57,044 --> 00:35:58,207
I appreciate that.

649
00:35:58,462 --> 00:36:00,502
He's better off living in a dumpster.

650
00:36:00,756 --> 00:36:02,416
I'll be a better father than you!

651
00:36:02,674 --> 00:36:04,999
Impossible!
All you care about is yourself!

652
00:36:05,260 --> 00:36:08,676
Yeah? No, I care about you
saving money on this call!

653
00:36:14,143 --> 00:36:15,388
Let's eat.

654
00:36:16,979 --> 00:36:19,019
The Vanessa thing did not work out.

655
00:36:19,273 --> 00:36:22,724
She lost her damn mind.
That wasn't your fault, though, okay?

656
00:36:24,570 --> 00:36:28,567
I know when you first got here, you
thought you were gonna meet your dad.

657
00:36:28,823 --> 00:36:31,148
But I don't think
that's gonna happen.

658
00:36:31,451 --> 00:36:32,281
Why?

659
00:36:32,785 --> 00:36:33,817
I don't know.

660
00:36:34,245 --> 00:36:36,950
But, buddy, real dads
aren't always that great.

661
00:36:37,206 --> 00:36:39,080
I got one and he's
out of his mind.

662
00:36:39,333 --> 00:36:43,165
He tells me what to do. He never lets
me figure stuff out on my own.

663
00:36:43,420 --> 00:36:46,623
A lot of dads are like that.
That's why people grow up nuts.

664
00:36:47,466 --> 00:36:48,876
Look at this guy.

665
00:36:49,134 --> 00:36:52,917
He was probably a nice boy like you.
Then his dad messed his mind up.

666
00:36:53,179 --> 00:36:54,590
Who won the Jets game?

667
00:36:54,847 --> 00:36:55,796
Who cares?

668
00:36:56,057 --> 00:36:58,298
Let it go.
He can't control you anymore.

669
00:36:58,559 --> 00:36:59,590
What do you mean?

670
00:36:59,852 --> 00:37:00,883
You know.

671
00:37:01,145 --> 00:37:02,058
You're a loser.

672
00:37:02,312 --> 00:37:05,017
You're mad at your dad, not at me!
I forgive you!

673
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,109
I am. I am. I hate my father.

674
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,894
I don't want it to be like that.
I don't wanna control you.

675
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:13,739
You even like your name?

676
00:37:14,407 --> 00:37:15,237
I guess.

677
00:37:15,491 --> 00:37:17,614
You guess? Shouldn't you like
your name?

678
00:37:17,868 --> 00:37:20,193
It'll be your name
the rest of your life.

679
00:37:20,704 --> 00:37:21,902
What do you want?

680
00:37:23,999 --> 00:37:25,541
Frankenstein.

681
00:37:25,792 --> 00:37:28,959
I can deal with that.
I'll call you Frankenstein.

682
00:37:29,212 --> 00:37:31,205
Frankenstein, you gonna play
in the puddle?

683
00:37:31,464 --> 00:37:34,714
Go ahead. From now on, you do
whatever you wanna do.

684
00:37:34,967 --> 00:37:37,209
I'll show you some cool shit
along the way.

685
00:37:37,470 --> 00:37:39,094
That's what it's all about.

686
00:37:40,973 --> 00:37:43,049
Stay in front of it.
Don't be scared.

687
00:37:43,308 --> 00:37:45,182
It's coming right at you.

688
00:37:45,686 --> 00:37:46,681
Okay. All right.

689
00:37:46,937 --> 00:37:49,344
You're picking your head up.
Don't do that.

690
00:37:50,857 --> 00:37:52,481
Is this okay?

691
00:37:52,734 --> 00:37:54,525
That's what you wanna wear?

692
00:37:55,486 --> 00:37:56,861
That's okay with me then.

693
00:37:57,113 --> 00:37:59,568
Good luck walking down the street.

694
00:38:01,325 --> 00:38:03,033
Way to block it. Stay with it.

695
00:38:03,285 --> 00:38:05,408
You're the next Willie Randolph.

696
00:38:15,421 --> 00:38:18,292
Chief Jay Strongbow
used to do a sleeper hold.

697
00:38:18,549 --> 00:38:19,747
Put your arm under here.

698
00:38:20,009 --> 00:38:24,338
Lift this arm, okay? Slide under
and try to lock wrists.

699
00:38:24,596 --> 00:38:26,090
Let me show you. Watch.

700
00:38:26,348 --> 00:38:28,886
Throw him into the ropes
and he comes back...

701
00:38:29,726 --> 00:38:32,051
Get him. Get him. Lock him up.

702
00:38:32,312 --> 00:38:33,687
Lock wrists.

703
00:38:34,063 --> 00:38:35,605
You bring him down slow.

704
00:38:36,149 --> 00:38:37,477
Apply pressure.

705
00:38:37,817 --> 00:38:39,394
He's going to sleep now.

706
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:43,151
See, he's out.

707
00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:55,655
Wake up.

708
00:39:01,714 --> 00:39:04,667
You'll be the only kid your age
with a slingshot.

709
00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:08,461
Go have some fun. Shoot a few
beer cans or something.

710
00:39:12,223 --> 00:39:13,504
You like that?

711
00:39:18,479 --> 00:39:19,890
Sonny, Sonny, come here!

712
00:39:20,147 --> 00:39:22,104
What is it? What's the matter?

713
00:39:28,030 --> 00:39:29,654
Let me have that.

714
00:39:30,699 --> 00:39:33,616
Go to your room. I think.
Or do whatever you want.

715
00:39:34,619 --> 00:39:36,777
It's gonna be fun. You nervous?

716
00:39:37,038 --> 00:39:39,244
No? You're excited, aren't you?

717
00:39:39,498 --> 00:39:41,954
Let's go. Up, up, up.

718
00:39:43,460 --> 00:39:45,453
Here comes some candy.

719
00:39:48,298 --> 00:39:49,128
How you doing?

720
00:39:50,592 --> 00:39:52,999
Happy Halloween!
We got a first-timer.

721
00:39:57,598 --> 00:39:58,927
Do the right thing, buddy.

722
00:39:59,183 --> 00:40:01,389
We want some candy!

723
00:40:05,856 --> 00:40:08,394
Hang on right here for a second.
Don't move.

724
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:24,622
Yeah, that's it.

725
00:40:26,041 --> 00:40:27,950
Yeah, CDs. You like that?

726
00:40:29,377 --> 00:40:31,833
He's not happy. What else you got?

727
00:40:34,007 --> 00:40:35,999
Okay, that's good. Trick-or-treat.

728
00:40:38,386 --> 00:40:40,343
Say, "Happy Halloween."

729
00:40:40,596 --> 00:40:42,589
Thank you.

730
00:40:42,848 --> 00:40:45,339
Next year, be prepared, moron.

731
00:40:48,687 --> 00:40:50,264
What's with the cummerbund?

732
00:40:50,522 --> 00:40:52,265
I let him wear whatever he wants.

733
00:40:52,524 --> 00:40:53,982
Those boots are the best.

734
00:40:54,234 --> 00:40:56,060
I think they're Kevin's.

735
00:40:56,361 --> 00:40:59,563
I'll have a hot dog with
the mustard and a knish.

736
00:40:59,822 --> 00:41:01,233
Frankenstein, what do you want?

737
00:41:01,490 --> 00:41:02,984
Thirty packets of ketchup.

738
00:41:03,242 --> 00:41:05,697
All right. Thirty packets of ketchup.

739
00:41:07,412 --> 00:41:08,657
Nice cut, pal.

740
00:41:10,790 --> 00:41:11,739
Frankenstein.

741
00:41:12,125 --> 00:41:14,497
Do that thing I taught you
the other day.

742
00:41:21,133 --> 00:41:24,419
It took him 20 minutes to learn that.
He's quick. He's smart.

743
00:41:24,678 --> 00:41:26,671
- And he loves ketchup.
- He does.

744
00:41:26,930 --> 00:41:29,255
This is a whole new school
of child-raising.

745
00:41:29,516 --> 00:41:32,849
You give him options, not orders.
Let him make the decision.

746
00:41:33,103 --> 00:41:34,217
You're a pioneer.

747
00:41:34,479 --> 00:41:37,433
- So you two just chill out all day?
- Basically.

748
00:41:37,690 --> 00:41:41,106
Hung out on the monkey bars.
The kid did eight chin-ups.

749
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:43,816
I can't even do one
with these scrawny arms.

750
00:41:44,071 --> 00:41:46,147
They're not scrawny. They're nice.

751
00:41:47,074 --> 00:41:49,232
What do you wanna do tomorrow?

752
00:41:49,493 --> 00:41:51,152
I wanna go to school.

753
00:41:51,411 --> 00:41:54,780
I don't force him, he makes
the right decision. Way to go.

754
00:41:55,039 --> 00:41:57,791
We'll enroll you on Monday.
Enjoy the weekend.

755
00:41:58,042 --> 00:41:59,240
Do the thing again.

756
00:42:06,967 --> 00:42:09,718
That one touched the ground.

757
00:42:09,970 --> 00:42:11,084
That was awesome!

758
00:42:11,346 --> 00:42:12,591
Good job.

759
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:19,470
Help me! Help me!

760
00:42:20,104 --> 00:42:22,595
Please help me.
I don't know where I live.

761
00:42:22,857 --> 00:42:25,015
This isn't a big problem.

762
00:42:25,275 --> 00:42:27,434
We'll find your parents.

763
00:42:27,736 --> 00:42:29,978
- What's your name?
- Frankenstein.

764
00:42:31,156 --> 00:42:32,152
There you are.

765
00:42:32,407 --> 00:42:34,530
There you are. Are you okay, buddy?

766
00:42:35,368 --> 00:42:37,325
I turn my head and he disappeared.

767
00:42:37,578 --> 00:42:40,365
Don't you ever do that to me again.
Don't do that.

768
00:42:40,831 --> 00:42:43,500
Thank you for being sweet
to my little boy.

769
00:42:43,751 --> 00:42:45,459
You're welcome, Sonny.

770
00:42:46,712 --> 00:42:49,831
I think my sister, Corinne,
is engaged to your roommate.

771
00:42:50,090 --> 00:42:52,841
Your sister's Corinne? That sucks.

772
00:42:53,093 --> 00:42:55,880
Yeah, I'm up from D.C.
I was at that party...

773
00:42:56,137 --> 00:42:58,628
...where we wasted
the good surprise on you.

774
00:42:58,890 --> 00:42:59,969
Sorry about that.

775
00:43:00,516 --> 00:43:02,259
So, what, you have a son now?

776
00:43:02,518 --> 00:43:05,435
I'm not his dad.
I'm more of a father-figure type...

777
00:43:05,688 --> 00:43:08,474
...until Social Services
can get another family.

778
00:43:08,732 --> 00:43:10,771
At which point,
you'll find a new way...

779
00:43:11,026 --> 00:43:13,861
...to initiate conversations
with girls in the park.

780
00:43:14,112 --> 00:43:15,820
Yeah, that's correct.

781
00:43:19,158 --> 00:43:20,321
Good job, buddy!

782
00:43:20,701 --> 00:43:22,077
He's peeing on his own.

783
00:43:22,328 --> 00:43:23,905
Keep it flowing! That's it!

784
00:43:24,163 --> 00:43:26,202
Go! Go!

785
00:43:26,623 --> 00:43:29,197
So does Corinne's sister have a name?

786
00:43:29,668 --> 00:43:30,664
It's Layla.

787
00:43:30,919 --> 00:43:33,374
Layla? I like your song.

788
00:43:34,297 --> 00:43:35,542
Could you do me a favor?

789
00:43:35,798 --> 00:43:37,209
Could you hang out with me?

790
00:43:37,467 --> 00:43:40,136
He'll think he's a failure
if he couldn't get me a date.

791
00:43:40,386 --> 00:43:41,549
I really can't.

792
00:43:42,721 --> 00:43:44,465
I have a ton of work to do.

793
00:43:44,723 --> 00:43:46,846
I see. Hang on a second.

794
00:43:47,101 --> 00:43:48,263
Come here.

795
00:43:52,314 --> 00:43:56,441
Layla, if you don't come over
to Sonny's apartment tonight...

796
00:43:56,693 --> 00:43:59,444
...there's a good chance
I'll develop a stutter.

797
00:44:00,947 --> 00:44:04,149
P-P-P-Please don't do this to me.

798
00:44:04,700 --> 00:44:07,107
- That is so cheap.
- What?

799
00:44:14,376 --> 00:44:16,498
So I'm working in a tollbooth now.

800
00:44:16,753 --> 00:44:19,160
I originally wanted to be
a male model...

801
00:44:19,422 --> 00:44:22,541
...but I'm not very good-looking,
so that didn't work out.

802
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,211
I'm sorry to hear that.

803
00:44:24,468 --> 00:44:26,176
I'm all right. I'm recovering.

804
00:44:26,428 --> 00:44:29,097
This is my favorite part
of the song right here.

805
00:44:29,348 --> 00:44:31,387
<i>If I can't have you</i>

806
00:44:32,559 --> 00:44:35,595
Better keep it down low.
The kid's gonna wake up.

807
00:44:37,021 --> 00:44:38,432
Too late.

808
00:44:38,690 --> 00:44:40,682
Okay. Just hang out a little bit.

809
00:44:40,942 --> 00:44:43,729
I'll be right back.
Don't go sneaking out.

810
00:44:45,571 --> 00:44:48,737
- What are you doing?
- You forgot to say good night.

811
00:44:48,991 --> 00:44:50,070
What do you mean?

812
00:44:50,325 --> 00:44:52,946
I can't go to sleep
until you say good night.

813
00:44:53,203 --> 00:44:55,776
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry. Good night.

814
00:44:56,331 --> 00:44:57,908
Go to sleep now, all right?

815
00:44:58,166 --> 00:44:59,541
What'd we learn about girls?

816
00:44:59,792 --> 00:45:03,327
Initiating the conversation
is half the battle.

817
00:45:03,587 --> 00:45:05,829
Bingo. Now sleep, okay?

818
00:45:13,263 --> 00:45:16,429
I gave him Nyquil.
He should be out for the night.

819
00:45:17,016 --> 00:45:21,144
This is Styx. They've been
my favorite band since I was 12.

820
00:45:21,395 --> 00:45:22,474
You're kidding me.

821
00:45:22,730 --> 00:45:25,434
No, I can't help it.
I just love them.

822
00:45:25,691 --> 00:45:27,434
My friends make fun of me.

823
00:45:27,693 --> 00:45:30,978
My friends make fun of me too.
I've seen them 25 times.

824
00:45:31,238 --> 00:45:33,942
Tommy Shaw, when I was 16,
I was at the concert...

825
00:45:34,199 --> 00:45:36,440
...and he reached down,
pulled me on stage.

826
00:45:36,826 --> 00:45:38,984
I did the robot voice for "Mr. Roboto."

827
00:45:39,245 --> 00:45:39,992
Really?

828
00:45:40,246 --> 00:45:41,954
No, I made that up. I'm sorry.

829
00:45:42,206 --> 00:45:44,033
That would've been cool, right?

830
00:45:44,291 --> 00:45:46,118
My cousin's friends
with their drummer...

831
00:45:46,377 --> 00:45:48,784
...so when they come to town,
we go to dinner...

832
00:45:49,046 --> 00:45:51,204
...and they tell us stories
from the road.

833
00:45:51,465 --> 00:45:52,211
Really?

834
00:45:52,466 --> 00:45:55,751
No, I made that up again too.
I'm sorry.

835
00:45:56,177 --> 00:45:59,712
You're not attracted to, like,
60-year-old guys, are you?

836
00:46:00,890 --> 00:46:03,463
Yeah, I don't like them either.

837
00:46:05,853 --> 00:46:07,929
I can't sleep.

838
00:46:11,149 --> 00:46:12,478
He can't sleep.

839
00:46:12,734 --> 00:46:16,778
So the rabbit ran across the street...

840
00:46:17,030 --> 00:46:20,114
...because he thought
he saw some carrots.

841
00:46:20,366 --> 00:46:22,572
But when he got across the street...

842
00:46:22,827 --> 00:46:25,744
...it turned out they weren't carrots,
they were peanuts.

843
00:46:25,996 --> 00:46:27,788
Peanuts?

844
00:46:29,082 --> 00:46:31,834
The peanuts belonged to a squirrel...

845
00:46:32,085 --> 00:46:35,288
...who had taken them home
from a baseball game.

846
00:46:35,547 --> 00:46:38,382
And then the rabbit
thought to himself...

847
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:40,839
..."Carrots, peanuts,
what's the difference?"

848
00:46:41,511 --> 00:46:44,381
So he asked the squirrel
if he could have some.

849
00:46:44,638 --> 00:46:46,595
And the squirrel said, "Of course."

850
00:46:46,849 --> 00:46:50,893
And the rabbit was very happy
to make such a nice new friend.

851
00:46:53,021 --> 00:46:54,930
And so was the squirrel.

852
00:46:55,190 --> 00:46:57,894
And the rabbit thought the squirrel
had pretty hair.

853
00:46:58,651 --> 00:47:01,059
And nice eyes also.

854
00:47:02,029 --> 00:47:05,196
And the squirrel thought the rabbit
was really nice too.

855
00:47:05,449 --> 00:47:08,948
And then, the rabbit
worked up his courage...

856
00:47:09,203 --> 00:47:11,444
...and asked the squirrel
if he could have...

857
00:47:11,705 --> 00:47:14,374
...just the littlest squirrel kiss.

858
00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:19,033
And the squirrel thought
it just wasn't the right time...

859
00:47:19,295 --> 00:47:22,379
...in her busy squirrel life
to be kissing any rabbits...

860
00:47:22,632 --> 00:47:26,083
...even though this particular rabbit
was very sweet.

861
00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:28,882
And the rabbit got shut down, did he?

862
00:47:31,223 --> 00:47:35,386
That's all right.
But he was still thinking maybe...

863
00:47:35,644 --> 00:47:38,478
...Scuba Steve could get
a squirrel kiss...

864
00:47:38,730 --> 00:47:40,806
...so somebody's getting some action.

865
00:47:47,821 --> 00:47:49,730
Good night, Scuba Steve.

866
00:47:50,574 --> 00:47:52,151
Good night, Frankenstein.

867
00:47:54,035 --> 00:47:55,316
Good night, Sonny.

868
00:47:55,578 --> 00:47:57,203
Good night, Layla.

869
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:02,249
Don't get caught with any girls.

870
00:48:02,501 --> 00:48:04,624
It's your first day. Take it slow.

871
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,838
I'll meet you after school
at 2:30, right out front.

872
00:48:08,382 --> 00:48:09,544
You're not staying?

873
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,291
No, I gotta go get you
some more ketchup.

874
00:48:12,552 --> 00:48:14,130
I don't like these kids.

875
00:48:14,387 --> 00:48:17,341
I don't either,
but shouldn't we give them a chance?

876
00:48:20,059 --> 00:48:21,304
How's this?

877
00:48:23,604 --> 00:48:25,929
Here are the magic sunglasses.

878
00:48:26,190 --> 00:48:29,107
You put them on
if you feel scared, okay?

879
00:48:31,069 --> 00:48:32,148
I lost you.

880
00:48:32,404 --> 00:48:34,692
I don't know where you are.
I'm sorry.

881
00:48:35,991 --> 00:48:37,271
Oh, there you go.

882
00:48:38,785 --> 00:48:41,110
You go inside and make some friends.

883
00:48:42,038 --> 00:48:43,829
Oh, yeah, that's a good hug.

884
00:48:44,081 --> 00:48:46,868
All right. Go inside.
I'm gonna miss you.

885
00:48:50,504 --> 00:48:52,377
Hi, I like your hat.

886
00:48:52,631 --> 00:48:54,173
What's your name?

887
00:49:06,352 --> 00:49:08,640
<i>- Might as well...
- Leave a message!</i>

888
00:49:10,105 --> 00:49:12,181
<i>- Might as well...
- Leave a message!</i>

889
00:49:12,482 --> 00:49:16,895
<i>Mr. Gerrity, this is Arthur Brooks
from Social Services. I got good news.</i>

890
00:49:17,153 --> 00:49:19,312
<i>We may have found
a family for Julian.</i>

891
00:49:19,572 --> 00:49:21,944
<i>Give me a call back
as soon as possible...</i>

892
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,690
<i>... so we can set up a meeting. Bye.</i>

893
00:49:35,754 --> 00:49:37,164
Sierra Club Legal Department.

894
00:49:37,422 --> 00:49:38,916
Can I speak to Layla Maloney?

895
00:49:39,382 --> 00:49:41,588
Layla, line four.

896
00:49:44,512 --> 00:49:45,757
You're a lawyer?

897
00:49:46,055 --> 00:49:47,465
What are you doing?

898
00:49:47,723 --> 00:49:51,056
Waiting for Julian so I can have
somebody to play with.

899
00:49:51,643 --> 00:49:53,387
<i>- What are you doing?
- I'm swamped.</i>

900
00:49:53,645 --> 00:49:55,721
I gotta do my laundry
on my lunch hour.

901
00:49:55,981 --> 00:49:58,981
I was gonna do my laundry today too.
Where are you going?

902
00:49:59,234 --> 00:50:01,985
There's a place nearby,
Suds, on Bleecker.

903
00:50:02,236 --> 00:50:05,071
I know that place.
Maybe I'll see you there then.

904
00:50:05,322 --> 00:50:07,648
Maybe. I gotta go.

905
00:50:17,876 --> 00:50:20,663
<i>I bought tickets,
and the show was the night before.</i>

906
00:50:20,920 --> 00:50:21,833
<i>Maybe it was a mistake.</i>

907
00:50:22,088 --> 00:50:25,955
That's nice, but you don't know
what's going down on the streets.

908
00:50:26,425 --> 00:50:28,085
It's hard to know what's going down...

909
00:50:28,344 --> 00:50:31,843
...when you're in an office
seven days a week, Mr. Tollbooth.

910
00:50:32,097 --> 00:50:34,303
You're not gonna tell me
to get a real job.

911
00:50:34,558 --> 00:50:36,634
No. You're a big boy.

912
00:50:36,893 --> 00:50:38,932
It's cool you only work
one day a week.

913
00:50:40,063 --> 00:50:42,636
These are the cutest things
I've ever seen.

914
00:50:42,899 --> 00:50:43,681
I know.

915
00:50:43,941 --> 00:50:46,610
I have them in yellow.
I wear them when I work out.

916
00:50:48,028 --> 00:50:51,148
It's great what you're doing
with Julian while you got him.

917
00:50:51,615 --> 00:50:52,611
Yeah, well, I got him.

918
00:50:52,866 --> 00:50:54,526
I read an article that said...

919
00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:58,034
...the most important influences
in a kid's life are his friends.

920
00:50:58,288 --> 00:50:59,486
They said that?

921
00:50:59,747 --> 00:51:03,959
Just hope he's not hanging out with
drug dealers and delinquents in school.

922
00:51:06,504 --> 00:51:07,583
I'm kidding.

923
00:51:09,131 --> 00:51:10,162
I know. I know.

924
00:51:11,925 --> 00:51:14,843
Man, this Yoo-hoo is good.
You know what else is good?

925
00:51:15,095 --> 00:51:16,672
Smoking dope.

926
00:51:17,055 --> 00:51:18,597
I ain't going to rat you out.

927
00:51:18,848 --> 00:51:20,046
Puffing the cheeba.

928
00:51:20,308 --> 00:51:24,092
Go by the seesaw, smoke a J.
You know what I'm talking about?

929
00:51:24,687 --> 00:51:26,146
I have a bellybutton.

930
00:51:26,439 --> 00:51:29,012
You have a bellybutton?
We all have bellybuttons.

931
00:51:29,275 --> 00:51:32,311
And we all love Yoo-hoo.
Especially with a little rum.

932
00:51:32,527 --> 00:51:33,393
What's rum?

933
00:51:33,654 --> 00:51:34,768
You don't know?

934
00:51:35,030 --> 00:51:36,109
Rumpelstiltskin?

935
00:51:38,324 --> 00:51:40,862
Rumpelstiltskin's a good man.
So are you guys.

936
00:51:41,828 --> 00:51:44,069
Stay clean. Stay focused.

937
00:51:44,330 --> 00:51:47,035
Frankenstein,
have fun with your friends.

938
00:51:48,667 --> 00:51:50,494
Why are you scratching so much?

939
00:51:50,753 --> 00:51:52,745
I have ecza...

940
00:51:53,005 --> 00:51:54,415
Eczema? Gross.

941
00:51:54,673 --> 00:51:56,297
How do I make it stop itching?

942
00:51:56,550 --> 00:51:58,957
I don't know. You scratch it.

943
00:51:59,219 --> 00:52:01,377
SpaghettiO's. Do you like
SpaghettiO's?

944
00:52:04,473 --> 00:52:05,932
Dented cans are half price.

945
00:52:06,183 --> 00:52:09,634
Microsoft went down three points.
We gotta save some money.

946
00:52:11,814 --> 00:52:13,308
Here, give it a shot.

947
00:52:14,858 --> 00:52:16,269
That's it, boy.

948
00:52:16,526 --> 00:52:18,104
Put it in there. Feels good.

949
00:52:18,361 --> 00:52:20,934
Hi, Sonny.
Hi, Sonny's friend.

950
00:52:21,197 --> 00:52:22,395
His name's Frankenstein.

951
00:52:22,824 --> 00:52:24,483
Hi, Frankenstein. Remember me?

952
00:52:24,742 --> 00:52:27,411
Help me. I'm lost.
I don't know where I am.

953
00:52:27,661 --> 00:52:29,037
You don't gotta do that.

954
00:52:29,288 --> 00:52:32,372
You guys wear the same size
T-shirt. That's cool.

955
00:52:32,624 --> 00:52:34,783
I heard you did laundry
with my sister.

956
00:52:35,043 --> 00:52:36,324
She said we did laundry?

957
00:52:36,586 --> 00:52:39,421
Where I'm from, it's called
doing the hibbity-dibbity.

958
00:52:41,216 --> 00:52:42,496
I got eczema.

959
00:52:42,884 --> 00:52:45,172
Well, then you shouldn't scratch it.

960
00:52:45,428 --> 00:52:48,097
Don't tell him what to do.
He can scratch.

961
00:52:48,347 --> 00:52:50,055
- Scratch.
- Is that better?

962
00:52:50,307 --> 00:52:52,098
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

963
00:52:52,601 --> 00:52:55,306
You know about kids?
I thought you were a foot doctor.

964
00:52:55,562 --> 00:52:59,690
It's not doctor stuff. It's common
sense. Scratching spreads rashes.

965
00:52:59,941 --> 00:53:02,183
This is something
you learned at Hooters.

966
00:53:06,739 --> 00:53:09,312
- What the hell is he doing?
- He's shopping.

967
00:53:09,575 --> 00:53:12,030
Microsoft went down three points.

968
00:53:12,744 --> 00:53:15,033
That's good.
See you later, Frankenstein.

969
00:53:15,288 --> 00:53:18,823
Stay away from the frozen-food section.
Your boobs'll harden.

970
00:53:26,799 --> 00:53:28,875
Isn't Little Italy the greatest?

971
00:53:29,134 --> 00:53:33,262
I like it. Everyone always tells me
to hang out in the Village and SoHo.

972
00:53:33,513 --> 00:53:34,427
That's all right.

973
00:53:34,681 --> 00:53:38,844
But you gotta respect a place where
the fatter you are, the cooler you are.

974
00:53:43,314 --> 00:53:46,813
Last time, he was with
a different girl. I guess he ate her.

975
00:53:49,195 --> 00:53:52,279
I went to Coney Island today
with the little boy.

976
00:53:52,531 --> 00:53:54,689
You gotta take a look at this.

977
00:53:54,950 --> 00:53:56,907
We had a blast together.

978
00:53:58,787 --> 00:54:00,115
He's so happy.

979
00:54:00,371 --> 00:54:01,747
He is such a good boy.

980
00:54:01,998 --> 00:54:05,497
If I have a kid of my own,
I hope he's half as cool as that kid.

981
00:54:06,168 --> 00:54:07,497
Is he picking your nose?

982
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,043
Yeah, he was picking his own all day...

983
00:54:10,297 --> 00:54:12,669
...so I figured he could borrow mine.
- Sweet.

984
00:54:13,091 --> 00:54:15,380
He must be miserable
without you right now.

985
00:54:15,635 --> 00:54:17,094
No, he's in good hands.

986
00:54:18,972 --> 00:54:21,759
Look at Brad's body.
Not an ounce of fat on it.

987
00:54:22,058 --> 00:54:24,810
- What?
- Don't worry. I like yours better.

988
00:54:28,189 --> 00:54:30,228
I got two queens, two jacks
and an ace.

989
00:54:30,482 --> 00:54:32,060
- I win.
- Why do you win?

990
00:54:32,317 --> 00:54:36,231
I got a two, a four, a ten,
an eight and a six.

991
00:54:36,488 --> 00:54:38,231
I don't understand.
Why do you win?

992
00:54:38,490 --> 00:54:40,778
- Because I win.
- What's the name of that game?

993
00:54:41,034 --> 00:54:41,816
I win.

994
00:54:42,076 --> 00:54:43,357
I'll get it!

995
00:54:45,663 --> 00:54:47,905
- What's up?
- I'm looking for Kevin Gerrity.

996
00:54:48,165 --> 00:54:49,825
He's in China. Who are you?

997
00:54:50,084 --> 00:54:53,618
Arthur Brooks, New York City
Social Services. I'm confused.

998
00:54:53,879 --> 00:54:56,500
Chinatown. He loves those egg rolls.

999
00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:00,754
I've tried contacting him several times
and he hasn't responded.

1000
00:55:01,010 --> 00:55:02,255
I'm concerned.

1001
00:55:02,512 --> 00:55:04,303
Ixnay on the ketchupnay.

1002
00:55:04,555 --> 00:55:06,464
- Have him call me.
- All right.

1003
00:55:07,892 --> 00:55:09,801
My body's definitely better than his.

1004
00:55:10,060 --> 00:55:11,887
Without question.

1005
00:55:16,066 --> 00:55:19,814
It took you a long time to pencil me in.
You work all the time.

1006
00:55:20,070 --> 00:55:21,268
I know. I'm excited.

1007
00:55:21,529 --> 00:55:24,067
You're excited.
How long you been this crazy?

1008
00:55:25,700 --> 00:55:28,369
I guess ever since
I was a little girl.

1009
00:55:29,161 --> 00:55:33,538
See, my mom got married really young
and pretty much just raised us kids.

1010
00:55:33,957 --> 00:55:35,617
So when my dad took off...

1011
00:55:35,876 --> 00:55:38,331
...she wasn't left
with a lot of options.

1012
00:55:38,587 --> 00:55:41,587
And I think that's when I decided...

1013
00:55:41,840 --> 00:55:44,413
...that I never wanted to end up
in that situation.

1014
00:55:45,093 --> 00:55:47,630
That's actually a good reason
to be working.

1015
00:55:47,887 --> 00:55:51,670
I guess I feel like I gotta kick ass
while there's ass to be kicked.

1016
00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:56,095
You kick that ass during the day,
but at night you have fun with Sonny.

1017
00:55:57,104 --> 00:56:01,397
<i>The Best of Times</i>

1018
00:56:02,692 --> 00:56:06,903
<i>Are when I'm alone with you</i>

1019
00:56:09,532 --> 00:56:13,363
<i>Some rain, some shine</i>

1020
00:56:21,334 --> 00:56:25,912
Two guys you were best friends with in
law school fell in love with each other?

1021
00:56:26,172 --> 00:56:27,500
Is that strange for you?

1022
00:56:27,757 --> 00:56:29,666
No. Nothing changed, really.

1023
00:56:29,925 --> 00:56:33,211
They watch a different kind
of porno now. But that's it.

1024
00:56:35,889 --> 00:56:37,846
My God! This is Corinne's place?

1025
00:56:38,099 --> 00:56:40,673
If the girls at Hooters
could see her now.

1026
00:56:40,935 --> 00:56:45,063
- Do you want your ass kicked?
- I'm just kidding around, Layla.

1027
00:56:49,443 --> 00:56:52,942
You're afraid to get involved
and you got a lot of work, but...

1028
00:56:53,530 --> 00:56:57,610
...when I'm not with you, I'm thinking
of you. Do you have that going on?

1029
00:56:57,951 --> 00:56:58,947
Maybe.

1030
00:56:59,202 --> 00:57:01,693
Maybe we should try a kiss out.

1031
00:57:01,955 --> 00:57:06,284
We owe it to ourselves to see
if we should move to the next level.

1032
00:57:07,210 --> 00:57:08,668
I'm not sure.

1033
00:57:08,919 --> 00:57:11,920
Me either. It's just that
you kissed Scuba Steve.

1034
00:57:12,172 --> 00:57:14,746
Ever since then,
he's strutted around bragging...

1035
00:57:15,008 --> 00:57:19,255
..."I got a kiss the first night.
After three times, you got nothing."

1036
00:57:19,512 --> 00:57:20,710
- He said that?
- Come on.

1037
00:57:20,972 --> 00:57:24,305
Let's just give it a shot
just so I can have some dignity.

1038
00:57:24,559 --> 00:57:25,887
All right?

1039
00:57:33,067 --> 00:57:34,976
Oh, my God!

1040
00:57:35,235 --> 00:57:36,564
Gross!

1041
00:57:36,820 --> 00:57:38,279
Did I witness the first kiss?

1042
00:57:38,530 --> 00:57:41,068
Yeah, you did.
Thanks a lot for showing up.

1043
00:57:41,741 --> 00:57:44,742
Layla, you didn't actually
enjoy that, did you?

1044
00:57:44,994 --> 00:57:47,532
I don't know. I'm going upstairs.

1045
00:57:47,788 --> 00:57:49,911
Wash your mouth out. He's dirty.

1046
00:57:50,166 --> 00:57:51,743
And he's poor.

1047
00:57:52,001 --> 00:57:55,998
What do you got in the bag, Corinne?
Some chicken wings? Booby tassels?

1048
00:57:56,338 --> 00:57:57,251
Shut up.

1049
00:57:57,506 --> 00:57:58,964
You have a good sleep.

1050
00:57:59,216 --> 00:58:00,793
Pleasant Hooters.

1051
00:58:05,471 --> 00:58:07,263
Come on, come on!

1052
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:09,467
This is where we hang our jackets.

1053
00:58:09,725 --> 00:58:10,840
This is my hook.

1054
00:58:11,101 --> 00:58:12,430
That's a capertillar.

1055
00:58:12,686 --> 00:58:13,801
A caterpillar.

1056
00:58:14,063 --> 00:58:17,431
- That's right, a capertillar.
- Capertillar, all right.

1057
00:58:17,691 --> 00:58:19,268
- Staying clean, pal?
- Yes.

1058
00:58:19,526 --> 00:58:22,480
You drink the booze, you lose.
Remember that, punk.

1059
00:58:24,113 --> 00:58:26,189
I'm Julian's teacher, Ms. Foote.

1060
00:58:26,449 --> 00:58:28,525
- You his father?
- I'm Kevin Gerrity.

1061
00:58:28,784 --> 00:58:32,533
Do you have some time to go over some
things that have been bothering me?

1062
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:33,945
Sure.

1063
00:58:34,206 --> 00:58:35,997
Go take a walk, pal.

1064
00:58:36,333 --> 00:58:39,287
Julian has been displaying
some odd behavior.

1065
00:58:39,544 --> 00:58:42,794
He spilled glue on the floor
and didn't tell anyone.

1066
00:58:43,047 --> 00:58:44,672
He covered it with newspaper.

1067
00:58:45,466 --> 00:58:49,843
And then one of our students wore
Rollerblades for show-and-tell.

1068
00:58:50,096 --> 00:58:52,633
And Julian tripped him with a stick.

1069
00:58:52,973 --> 00:58:53,969
I've never...

1070
00:58:56,643 --> 00:58:58,470
Julian found it hilarious.

1071
00:58:58,729 --> 00:59:01,054
I like him to express himself freely.

1072
00:59:01,314 --> 00:59:04,315
I've really never seen
any problems with that.

1073
00:59:08,237 --> 00:59:11,487
Your boy's making the least progress
of any of the children.

1074
00:59:12,074 --> 00:59:15,774
Frankly, his personal hygiene
is becoming a cause for concern.

1075
00:59:16,245 --> 00:59:19,660
He's the smelly kid in class?
I let him become the smelly kid?

1076
00:59:19,915 --> 00:59:21,077
What's wrong with me?

1077
00:59:21,333 --> 00:59:23,242
I've had some smelly ones before.

1078
00:59:23,501 --> 00:59:25,873
But your son is by far the smelliest.

1079
00:59:26,129 --> 00:59:28,916
All right, I got you.
What do you think I should do?

1080
00:59:29,173 --> 00:59:31,842
Start by paying more attention
to his schoolwork.

1081
00:59:32,468 --> 00:59:35,883
The class is giving a presentation
of the Founding Fathers.

1082
00:59:36,138 --> 00:59:40,218
Julian has drawn the part of Benjamin
Franklin, a very important role.

1083
00:59:40,475 --> 00:59:41,673
Do what you can to help.

1084
00:59:41,935 --> 00:59:44,639
I will turn this all around.
That's a promise.

1085
00:59:44,896 --> 00:59:46,271
Thank you very much.

1086
00:59:46,522 --> 00:59:48,930
Stinky, let's go.
You got us in trouble.

1087
00:59:49,191 --> 00:59:50,472
Did he call him "Stinky"?

1088
00:59:53,904 --> 00:59:56,573
Wow, I didn't know this
about George Washington.

1089
00:59:56,823 --> 00:59:59,195
Yes, his teeth were made of wool.

1090
00:59:59,451 --> 01:00:01,028
Wood.

1091
01:00:01,953 --> 01:00:03,696
I sorry. I mix up "D" and "L."

1092
01:00:03,955 --> 01:00:05,153
Well, get it right.

1093
01:00:06,958 --> 01:00:08,582
Turn that game off, pal.

1094
01:00:08,834 --> 01:00:10,115
I got four guys left.

1095
01:00:10,378 --> 01:00:11,872
Let's study a little bit.

1096
01:00:12,129 --> 01:00:13,292
I don't wanna study.

1097
01:00:13,547 --> 01:00:14,496
Give me that.

1098
01:00:15,591 --> 01:00:18,508
- You just killed me.
- So what? You'll play later.

1099
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:20,338
You can't tell me what to do.

1100
01:00:20,595 --> 01:00:24,509
Really? Let's take a vote.
Who thinks the kid should study?

1101
01:00:25,892 --> 01:00:29,011
Who doesn't?
Well, you just lost, two to one.

1102
01:00:29,270 --> 01:00:32,520
It's a tie. That guy doesn't count.
He can't even read.

1103
01:00:33,899 --> 01:00:35,939
I know. He was just joking around.

1104
01:00:36,735 --> 01:00:40,234
Can you hang out here a little bit?
I gotta go do something.

1105
01:00:40,489 --> 01:00:41,651
No problem.

1106
01:00:43,033 --> 01:00:44,408
<i>Would you like</i>

1107
01:00:46,494 --> 01:00:48,285
<i>We'll hop, hop, hop, hop</i>

1108
01:00:48,538 --> 01:00:50,245
<i>What do you say</i>

1109
01:00:51,874 --> 01:00:53,368
Get the door.

1110
01:01:00,215 --> 01:01:01,839
Hi, Julian. How you doing?

1111
01:01:02,509 --> 01:01:04,217
I'm Scuba Sam.

1112
01:01:04,469 --> 01:01:06,046
Scuba Steve's father.

1113
01:01:06,304 --> 01:01:07,584
You see, my boy...

1114
01:01:07,847 --> 01:01:09,555
...needs to take a bath.

1115
01:01:09,974 --> 01:01:11,433
The only problem is...

1116
01:01:11,684 --> 01:01:13,676
...he's afraid to bathe alone.

1117
01:01:13,936 --> 01:01:15,478
So I was wondering...

1118
01:01:15,729 --> 01:01:19,228
...if maybe you could keep him company
in the tub.

1119
01:01:20,150 --> 01:01:20,932
Terrific.

1120
01:01:21,318 --> 01:01:24,271
And after the bath, you have to try
and study hard.

1121
01:01:24,529 --> 01:01:29,237
Because if you wanna be a member of
the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart.

1122
01:01:29,534 --> 01:01:31,573
I could be in the Scuba Squad?

1123
01:01:31,827 --> 01:01:35,278
Well, sure. All you have to do
is work hard.

1124
01:01:35,539 --> 01:01:38,112
And don't tell a soul
about the Scuba Squad...

1125
01:01:38,375 --> 01:01:40,533
...because then everybody will
wanna join.

1126
01:01:40,794 --> 01:01:42,252
And one more thing...

1127
01:01:42,504 --> 01:01:44,745
...be nice to the delivery guy,
would you?

1128
01:01:46,090 --> 01:01:47,834
It's not his fault he can't read.

1129
01:01:48,676 --> 01:01:50,384
Take care.

1130
01:01:54,390 --> 01:01:58,008
He told me to watch his boat for him.
Said that he wanted to...

1131
01:01:58,268 --> 01:02:00,937
...talk to you about
some secret mission.

1132
01:02:01,354 --> 01:02:03,845
I have no idea what
you're talking about.

1133
01:02:07,068 --> 01:02:09,393
How come I have to wear
a bathing suit?

1134
01:02:09,654 --> 01:02:11,148
I don't know the rules...

1135
01:02:11,405 --> 01:02:15,652
...with little kids and grownups
and being naked and just sit down.

1136
01:02:17,995 --> 01:02:21,363
The good news is you're not
smelling like a foot anymore.

1137
01:02:21,623 --> 01:02:25,371
I read something interesting.
You know Benjamin Franklin invented...

1138
01:02:25,627 --> 01:02:27,619
...bifocals? That's pretty cool.

1139
01:02:27,879 --> 01:02:28,828
What are they?

1140
01:02:29,088 --> 01:02:33,132
I'll show you in that book. It might
help you out with your school play.

1141
01:02:34,009 --> 01:02:35,634
We'll make this a regular thing.

1142
01:02:35,886 --> 01:02:39,006
Bathing and studying
and eating right.

1143
01:02:39,264 --> 01:02:41,885
Put your head back.
My grandmother did this to me.

1144
01:02:42,142 --> 01:02:46,887
"Oh, boy. When I was a little girl,
frankfurters only cost a nickel."

1145
01:02:47,230 --> 01:02:48,344
Can you still have fun?

1146
01:02:48,606 --> 01:02:50,266
Yeah, but after you study.

1147
01:02:50,524 --> 01:02:53,525
In fact, we gotta get you
dressing differently.

1148
01:02:53,777 --> 01:02:55,320
We'll go to Barney's.

1149
01:02:56,238 --> 01:02:59,192
Not that Barney.
A more expensive Barney.

1150
01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:10,618
All right, one at a time.

1151
01:03:10,877 --> 01:03:12,371
That's one.

1152
01:03:12,795 --> 01:03:14,075
Two.

1153
01:03:15,923 --> 01:03:18,461
See? Urinals are good too.

1154
01:03:39,236 --> 01:03:40,647
"Electricity."

1155
01:03:40,987 --> 01:03:41,901
Very good.

1156
01:03:42,155 --> 01:03:43,318
"Constitution."

1157
01:03:43,573 --> 01:03:44,736
That's it.

1158
01:03:44,991 --> 01:03:46,189
"Philadelphia."

1159
01:03:46,451 --> 01:03:47,565
Smart. Good.

1160
01:03:50,413 --> 01:03:51,362
"Fish"?

1161
01:03:53,582 --> 01:03:54,697
"Pony"?

1162
01:03:56,710 --> 01:03:57,659
"Hip..."

1163
01:03:58,837 --> 01:03:59,619
"Hiphop..."

1164
01:04:00,380 --> 01:04:01,459
"Hipopynonamous"?

1165
01:04:03,091 --> 01:04:05,926
Damn you! You gave him the easy ones!

1166
01:04:09,514 --> 01:04:10,889
- Thanks!
- You're welcome.

1167
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:15,509
Slow down.

1168
01:04:16,353 --> 01:04:18,061
You owe me a Sausage McMuffin.

1169
01:04:26,404 --> 01:04:27,483
There's a pole there.

1170
01:04:37,081 --> 01:04:39,156
My name is Alexander Hamilton.

1171
01:04:39,499 --> 01:04:42,204
I was the first secretary
of the treasury.

1172
01:04:42,461 --> 01:04:44,832
I owned a bank and a newspaper.

1173
01:04:45,088 --> 01:04:47,376
Aaron Bird shot me.

1174
01:04:51,427 --> 01:04:53,834
Hi, my name is Benjamin Franklin.

1175
01:04:54,221 --> 01:04:56,795
I was a writer, a diplomat...

1176
01:04:57,099 --> 01:04:59,305
...an inventor and a statesman...

1177
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:03,474
...although I only went to school
for two years.

1178
01:05:04,773 --> 01:05:09,102
I wrote many books and invented
many things we still use today.

1179
01:05:13,906 --> 01:05:17,524
The Declaration of Independence
is finished.

1180
01:05:19,244 --> 01:05:20,869
Who will be the first to sign?

1181
01:05:21,163 --> 01:05:24,531
- How about you, John Hancock?
- I want to sign!

1182
01:05:28,795 --> 01:05:31,464
- Look at my man stand strong.
- He's so cute.

1183
01:05:37,302 --> 01:05:38,500
What are your cards?

1184
01:05:38,762 --> 01:05:43,471
I got a six, a five, a jack,
a four and a eight.

1185
01:05:43,934 --> 01:05:44,764
I win.

1186
01:05:45,018 --> 01:05:45,931
What do you mean?

1187
01:05:46,186 --> 01:05:48,511
I had a hand just like that.
I didn't win.

1188
01:05:48,771 --> 01:05:49,685
Because I win.

1189
01:05:49,939 --> 01:05:51,219
This is bullshit!

1190
01:05:51,482 --> 01:05:53,107
All right. Take it easy, man.

1191
01:05:53,359 --> 01:05:55,019
Every time it's different cards.

1192
01:05:55,277 --> 01:05:56,736
So what? Relax. He's a kid.

1193
01:05:57,196 --> 01:06:00,446
There should be same set of rules,
no matter what age.

1194
01:06:00,699 --> 01:06:02,738
He's gotta learn how to lose too.

1195
01:06:03,034 --> 01:06:05,525
- Hello, Mr. Koufax.
- Mr. Brooks, how you doing?

1196
01:06:05,787 --> 01:06:07,495
I was gonna give you a buzz.

1197
01:06:08,539 --> 01:06:11,244
You just called me Mr. Koufax,
didn't you?

1198
01:06:11,501 --> 01:06:13,540
It is your name, isn't it?
Sonny Koufax?

1199
01:06:13,794 --> 01:06:16,285
You held yourself out
to be Kevin Gerrity...

1200
01:06:16,547 --> 01:06:18,504
...to gain custody of young Julian.

1201
01:06:18,757 --> 01:06:20,548
Big problem in this state.

1202
01:06:20,801 --> 01:06:22,509
I've delivered to you before.

1203
01:06:22,761 --> 01:06:25,133
You always order
three pieces of cheesecake.

1204
01:06:25,972 --> 01:06:28,724
The real Kevin Gerrity
asked me to take care of...

1205
01:06:28,975 --> 01:06:30,766
Save it, Mr. Koufax.

1206
01:06:31,018 --> 01:06:33,343
He has to come with me
or I'll arrest you.

1207
01:06:33,604 --> 01:06:34,849
Take out your handcuffs.

1208
01:06:35,106 --> 01:06:37,940
I don't have any,
but two policemen downstairs do.

1209
01:06:38,442 --> 01:06:40,684
Listen, Sonny, I would like to help...

1210
01:06:40,944 --> 01:06:44,692
...but my status in your country
is not what you would call legal.

1211
01:06:44,948 --> 01:06:46,027
It's okay.

1212
01:06:46,449 --> 01:06:47,480
I'm Audi.

1213
01:06:47,742 --> 01:06:50,529
Julian, you're gonna have to
come with me.

1214
01:06:52,622 --> 01:06:54,246
One second, pal.

1215
01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:59,624
Would you just give me a second
to say goodbye to the kid?

1216
01:07:00,754 --> 01:07:01,750
Take a second.

1217
01:07:10,054 --> 01:07:12,379
You don't want me here anymore?

1218
01:07:12,682 --> 01:07:14,508
No, that's not it, pal.

1219
01:07:14,767 --> 01:07:16,973
You just gotta go away
for a little while.

1220
01:07:17,228 --> 01:07:19,683
How long am I going away for?

1221
01:07:19,938 --> 01:07:21,895
I don't wanna lie to you.

1222
01:07:24,234 --> 01:07:25,977
I don't think we're gonna...

1223
01:07:26,486 --> 01:07:28,609
...be seeing each other anymore.

1224
01:07:30,073 --> 01:07:32,943
I screwed up, pal. I'm so sorry.

1225
01:07:33,909 --> 01:07:35,190
Come here.

1226
01:07:35,911 --> 01:07:37,074
Put your coat on.

1227
01:07:42,876 --> 01:07:45,283
It's not your fault, okay?
I'm the idiot.

1228
01:07:45,545 --> 01:07:47,621
- I don't wanna go.
- I know you don't.

1229
01:07:47,881 --> 01:07:50,288
But you have to,
and you're gonna be okay.

1230
01:07:53,344 --> 01:07:55,383
Please don't make me go.

1231
01:07:55,638 --> 01:07:58,010
I'm sorry, but I don't know
what else to do.

1232
01:07:58,265 --> 01:08:00,721
I won't play
the kangaroo song anymore.

1233
01:08:01,310 --> 01:08:02,638
Come on.

1234
01:08:02,894 --> 01:08:04,519
Just go. You gotta go.

1235
01:08:04,771 --> 01:08:05,969
You gotta go.

1236
01:08:07,816 --> 01:08:10,223
I don't wanna go. I promise...

1237
01:08:10,485 --> 01:08:13,438
...I'm sorry. I don't even
like that song anymore.

1238
01:08:13,696 --> 01:08:15,688
I know, pal. That's not it.

1239
01:08:15,948 --> 01:08:19,114
But I wipe my own ass!
I wipe my own ass!

1240
01:08:20,828 --> 01:08:22,286
I know.

1241
01:08:41,471 --> 01:08:43,797
- Layla, they took the kid.
- Who?

1242
01:08:44,057 --> 01:08:46,548
Social Services.
I gotta get him back.

1243
01:08:46,810 --> 01:08:48,601
You said this was just temporary.

1244
01:08:48,853 --> 01:08:51,688
I can't have it be temporary.
It's gotta be permanent.

1245
01:08:51,939 --> 01:08:53,647
Okay, what can we do?

1246
01:08:53,900 --> 01:08:57,233
I filed to get custody based
on the child's best interests.

1247
01:08:57,486 --> 01:09:01,234
Tommy knew a clerk, so they fast-tracked
the hearing. It's Tuesday.

1248
01:09:01,490 --> 01:09:03,316
- This Tuesday?
- You got work?

1249
01:09:03,575 --> 01:09:06,576
I gotta go to Washington
for a hearing to dismiss my case.

1250
01:09:06,828 --> 01:09:08,370
Can you get somebody else?

1251
01:09:08,621 --> 01:09:11,029
I'm sorry, Sonny.
I can't. It's my case.

1252
01:09:11,290 --> 01:09:14,410
We don't even know where
this kid's gonna end up.

1253
01:09:14,669 --> 01:09:18,084
Sonny, this is exactly why
I didn't wanna get involved.

1254
01:09:18,339 --> 01:09:20,296
I had things going the way I wanted.

1255
01:09:20,549 --> 01:09:24,333
Then at the park, you and this kid
come barging into my life...

1256
01:09:24,594 --> 01:09:27,548
...and it's screwing up everything
I had planned.

1257
01:09:27,806 --> 01:09:30,723
You think I planned on a kid
showing up on my doorstep?

1258
01:09:30,975 --> 01:09:32,517
But I fell in love with him.

1259
01:09:33,853 --> 01:09:35,845
So now my plans have changed.

1260
01:10:30,947 --> 01:10:32,322
All rise.

1261
01:10:39,663 --> 01:10:43,577
We're here to determine
proper custody of Julian McGrath...

1262
01:10:43,834 --> 01:10:46,953
...also known as Julian Gerrity,
a minor child.

1263
01:10:47,212 --> 01:10:48,754
Representing New York City?

1264
01:10:49,005 --> 01:10:50,380
Ted Castellucci.

1265
01:10:50,632 --> 01:10:52,458
Arthur Brooks, Social Services.

1266
01:10:52,717 --> 01:10:54,626
And representing Sonny Koufax?

1267
01:10:54,886 --> 01:10:55,965
Phillip D'Amato.

1268
01:10:56,220 --> 01:10:57,216
Thomas Grayton.

1269
01:10:57,513 --> 01:11:00,086
Plus, I'll pretty much
be representing myself.

1270
01:11:00,349 --> 01:11:01,298
Anyone else?

1271
01:11:01,558 --> 01:11:03,800
Layla Maloney, Your Honor.

1272
01:11:07,480 --> 01:11:09,520
Does this mean that you love me?

1273
01:11:09,774 --> 01:11:11,268
Something like that.

1274
01:11:12,151 --> 01:11:13,610
First witness.

1275
01:11:13,861 --> 01:11:16,530
Koufax is a good egg.
He was nice to that kid.

1276
01:11:17,406 --> 01:11:19,482
But he fights like a girl.

1277
01:11:19,742 --> 01:11:20,572
You like that?

1278
01:11:20,826 --> 01:11:22,534
I'm right here, miss.

1279
01:11:22,786 --> 01:11:24,577
What are you gonna do about it?

1280
01:11:26,414 --> 01:11:28,122
Are you drunk, Mr. Herlihy?

1281
01:11:28,375 --> 01:11:30,996
I had a few chardonnays. What of it?

1282
01:11:31,878 --> 01:11:33,123
Get off the stand.

1283
01:11:33,629 --> 01:11:34,910
You got it.

1284
01:11:35,464 --> 01:11:36,958
I've got a few problems.

1285
01:11:37,425 --> 01:11:38,623
Off to a good start.

1286
01:11:38,884 --> 01:11:43,676
Mr. Koufax is a really cool guy.
I wish my dad was as cool as him.

1287
01:11:43,931 --> 01:11:45,590
My dad was a military man.

1288
01:11:46,391 --> 01:11:49,427
Guess I wasn't such a "good soldier."

1289
01:11:49,853 --> 01:11:54,645
When I was 35, he attempted to give me
a crew cut while I was sleeping.

1290
01:11:54,941 --> 01:11:57,396
I broke his arm,
haven't seen him since.

1291
01:11:57,985 --> 01:12:00,902
I'd rather live on the streets
than under his rules.

1292
01:12:07,619 --> 01:12:11,912
Anyway, I think Mr. Koufax should be
acquitted of all the charges.

1293
01:12:13,082 --> 01:12:16,949
If O.J. can get away with murder,
why can't Sonny have his kid?

1294
01:12:18,379 --> 01:12:20,455
This guy knows what I'm talking about.

1295
01:12:22,674 --> 01:12:24,466
No more questions.

1296
01:12:28,013 --> 01:12:30,586
How long have you delivered food
to Mr. Koufax?

1297
01:12:30,849 --> 01:12:32,508
I deliver food for six years.

1298
01:12:32,767 --> 01:12:35,768
Plus, I'm stripper.
But I've put on weight so it's problem.

1299
01:12:36,020 --> 01:12:40,100
I see. And in your experience,
was Sonny a good father to Julian?

1300
01:12:40,357 --> 01:12:43,026
Oh, yes. They make terrific pair.

1301
01:12:43,277 --> 01:12:45,732
They went together like
lamb and tuna fish.

1302
01:12:47,531 --> 01:12:49,108
Lamb and tuna fish?

1303
01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:53,275
Spaghetti and meatball?
You more comfortable with that analogy?

1304
01:12:53,536 --> 01:12:55,742
Yes, considering we're in America.

1305
01:12:55,997 --> 01:12:58,570
If you don't like spaghetti
and meatballs, get out.

1306
01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:00,291
I'll come give you a crew cut.

1307
01:13:00,584 --> 01:13:01,912
Let's see your clippers.

1308
01:13:02,169 --> 01:13:03,960
Not my problem your dad was sick.

1309
01:13:06,339 --> 01:13:07,881
Stop yelling at me!

1310
01:13:11,010 --> 01:13:13,501
Order! Order! Order!

1311
01:13:13,763 --> 01:13:15,257
Am I in the right room?

1312
01:13:15,515 --> 01:13:16,594
Who the hell are you?

1313
01:13:16,849 --> 01:13:18,509
I'm Mr. Koufax's co-counsel.

1314
01:13:18,768 --> 01:13:20,427
He has enough co-counsels.

1315
01:13:20,686 --> 01:13:21,516
Well...

1316
01:13:23,605 --> 01:13:24,803
...one more won't hurt.

1317
01:13:25,065 --> 01:13:26,440
Let's get on with it.

1318
01:13:26,691 --> 01:13:29,692
Mr. Koufax is simply parading
his buddies up there.

1319
01:13:29,944 --> 01:13:32,316
Can't they find someone
who isn't a friend?

1320
01:13:32,572 --> 01:13:34,813
What were Julian
and Mr. Koufax doing?

1321
01:13:35,199 --> 01:13:36,029
Shopping.

1322
01:13:36,284 --> 01:13:39,118
Did he appear to be
an attentive, loving father?

1323
01:13:39,370 --> 01:13:40,828
He certainly did.

1324
01:13:41,163 --> 01:13:43,369
And how long have you
disliked Mr. Koufax?

1325
01:13:43,624 --> 01:13:44,822
Since the day I met him.

1326
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:48,167
For the record, where did you work
during medical school?

1327
01:13:49,671 --> 01:13:50,999
Hooters.

1328
01:13:52,882 --> 01:13:54,625
No further questions.

1329
01:13:55,718 --> 01:13:56,998
Asshole.

1330
01:13:57,261 --> 01:13:58,506
Next witness.

1331
01:13:59,138 --> 01:14:01,130
We'd like to call Julian McGrath.

1332
01:14:15,111 --> 01:14:18,396
If it's okay with you,
I'd like to ask you a few questions.

1333
01:14:18,739 --> 01:14:20,482
This is just you and me talking...

1334
01:14:20,741 --> 01:14:22,780
...so don't pay attention to
these people.

1335
01:14:23,035 --> 01:14:25,074
Can you tell me how old you are?

1336
01:14:26,872 --> 01:14:28,496
Your Honor, one second.

1337
01:14:41,594 --> 01:14:43,253
That's better, huh?

1338
01:14:43,512 --> 01:14:45,172
Can you tell me
how old you are?

1339
01:14:45,555 --> 01:14:46,718
Five.

1340
01:14:46,973 --> 01:14:48,254
What's your birthday?

1341
01:14:48,517 --> 01:14:50,176
July 15th.

1342
01:14:50,435 --> 01:14:51,514
Where were you born?

1343
01:14:51,770 --> 01:14:52,801
Toronto.

1344
01:14:53,062 --> 01:14:55,470
Toronto? I thought you were
from Buffalo.

1345
01:14:55,898 --> 01:14:58,567
I moved to Buffalo with my mommy.

1346
01:14:58,818 --> 01:15:01,902
For the past six weeks, you've been
living with Sonny?

1347
01:15:03,989 --> 01:15:05,613
Did you and Sonny have fun?

1348
01:15:06,992 --> 01:15:08,735
What kind of things would you do?

1349
01:15:08,994 --> 01:15:12,908
He taught me how to do the sleeper hold
like Chief Jay Strongbow.

1350
01:15:13,456 --> 01:15:14,736
That's nice.

1351
01:15:14,999 --> 01:15:16,030
Anything else?

1352
01:15:16,292 --> 01:15:18,581
He taught me how to pee on a building.

1353
01:15:19,128 --> 01:15:20,124
Really?

1354
01:15:23,841 --> 01:15:28,383
And he taught me that Styx was
one of the greatest American rock bands.

1355
01:15:28,637 --> 01:15:30,380
They only caught a bad rap...

1356
01:15:30,638 --> 01:15:34,090
...because most critics
are cynical assholes.

1357
01:15:36,769 --> 01:15:38,808
I think we'd all agree with that.

1358
01:15:40,773 --> 01:15:45,233
Before you came here, do you remember
the last thing your mommy said to you?

1359
01:15:45,485 --> 01:15:49,020
That she loved me and I was gonna
live with my new daddy.

1360
01:15:49,281 --> 01:15:52,151
If your mother could pick anyone
to be your new daddy...

1361
01:15:52,408 --> 01:15:53,653
...who would she pick?

1362
01:15:53,910 --> 01:15:55,487
Sonny.

1363
01:15:56,454 --> 01:15:57,652
Thank you, Julian.

1364
01:15:57,914 --> 01:15:59,289
You can step down now.

1365
01:16:04,294 --> 01:16:05,954
That went good, don't you think?

1366
01:16:06,255 --> 01:16:09,208
I don't know.
Judge doesn't look too happy.

1367
01:16:09,466 --> 01:16:11,921
Mr. Koufax, anyone else?

1368
01:16:16,681 --> 01:16:19,006
I'd like to call upon myself,
Your Honor.

1369
01:16:19,266 --> 01:16:20,464
Awesome.

1370
01:16:20,726 --> 01:16:23,846
Which of your esteemed co-counsels
will examine you?

1371
01:16:25,814 --> 01:16:28,139
My father, Lenny Koufax.

1372
01:16:28,400 --> 01:16:29,514
What?

1373
01:16:29,985 --> 01:16:31,360
Forget it, Sonny.

1374
01:16:31,611 --> 01:16:33,022
What is going on?

1375
01:16:33,279 --> 01:16:37,526
Nobody in this world thinks I shouldn't
have a child more than that man.

1376
01:16:37,909 --> 01:16:41,360
He also happens to be
a well-respected lawyer in Florida.

1377
01:16:41,620 --> 01:16:45,748
If I can make a believer out of him,
I can make a believer out of everybody.

1378
01:16:45,999 --> 01:16:50,495
This court is after the truth, not
the opinion of the defendant's father.

1379
01:16:50,754 --> 01:16:53,079
You want my opinion?
My son is a moron.

1380
01:16:53,339 --> 01:16:55,711
I withdraw my objection.
Please proceed.

1381
01:17:00,721 --> 01:17:02,346
This is a big mistake.

1382
01:17:02,848 --> 01:17:06,264
I only came today to make sure
you didn't end up in jail.

1383
01:17:06,518 --> 01:17:08,309
That was nice of you. Thank you.

1384
01:17:08,562 --> 01:17:11,397
To do what I think is right here.

1385
01:17:11,648 --> 01:17:14,139
Cut your fingernails.
They're too long.

1386
01:17:14,400 --> 01:17:15,349
Okay, Dad.

1387
01:17:15,610 --> 01:17:16,985
This case is simple.

1388
01:17:18,154 --> 01:17:22,697
It is absurd to think that Sonny Koufax
is ready to raise a child.

1389
01:17:22,950 --> 01:17:24,610
- Objection!
- Shut up, Tommy.

1390
01:17:25,244 --> 01:17:26,786
Sorry, Mr. Koufax.

1391
01:17:27,371 --> 01:17:29,162
First of all, how did...

1392
01:17:29,414 --> 01:17:33,992
...this sweet little boy, Julian,
end up under your supervision?

1393
01:17:35,044 --> 01:17:38,247
I told Social Services
that my name was Kevin Gerrity.

1394
01:17:38,589 --> 01:17:40,878
- Of course, you are not Kevin Gerrity.
- No.

1395
01:17:41,133 --> 01:17:42,627
- So you lied.
- Yes.

1396
01:17:42,885 --> 01:17:45,839
Like the time I found a bag of pot
in your drawer...

1397
01:17:46,096 --> 01:17:48,931
...and you said you thought
they were pencil shavings.

1398
01:17:51,393 --> 01:17:54,559
Remember when I told you Aunt Fay
was coming to New York...

1399
01:17:54,812 --> 01:17:57,019
...and I wanted you to
show her the city?

1400
01:17:57,273 --> 01:17:59,728
And you said that you had
better things to do.

1401
01:17:59,984 --> 01:18:01,063
That's right.

1402
01:18:01,318 --> 01:18:05,232
I'm curious. Just what were those
better things that you had to do?

1403
01:18:07,491 --> 01:18:11,571
Jethro Tull had a reunion concert
in New Jersey, so I caught that.

1404
01:18:13,830 --> 01:18:16,036
What happened to Aunt Fay
that weekend?

1405
01:18:16,916 --> 01:18:17,912
She died.

1406
01:18:18,167 --> 01:18:19,116
Yes, she did.

1407
01:18:20,586 --> 01:18:23,077
Did you happen to make it
to her funeral?

1408
01:18:24,882 --> 01:18:25,795
Why not?

1409
01:18:26,049 --> 01:18:29,881
I went to Jones Beach,
got drunk and fell asleep.

1410
01:18:30,137 --> 01:18:31,132
Hell, yes!

1411
01:18:32,472 --> 01:18:33,635
Some role model.

1412
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:36,928
Your Honor...

1413
01:18:37,602 --> 01:18:39,641
...my son doesn't have health insurance.

1414
01:18:39,895 --> 01:18:41,804
He doesn't know how to boil an egg.

1415
01:18:42,064 --> 01:18:45,599
He filed for social security
at the age of 30.

1416
01:18:46,235 --> 01:18:49,105
He is a drain on the economy,
on the country...

1417
01:18:49,362 --> 01:18:51,106
...and most of all, on me!

1418
01:18:53,616 --> 01:18:54,565
Your Honor...

1419
01:18:54,826 --> 01:18:57,114
...to give this young man...

1420
01:18:58,287 --> 01:19:02,119
...custody over another life
is not only wrong...

1421
01:19:02,416 --> 01:19:03,531
...it's insane.

1422
01:19:11,466 --> 01:19:12,545
I love you.

1423
01:19:13,343 --> 01:19:14,089
What?

1424
01:19:14,636 --> 01:19:16,758
Don't be scared. It's all right.

1425
01:19:17,013 --> 01:19:18,388
I'm not scared.

1426
01:19:18,639 --> 01:19:21,723
If I get custody of Julian,
I'll be his father forever.

1427
01:19:22,226 --> 01:19:25,760
That scares you because you think
there's a good chance I'll fail.

1428
01:19:26,021 --> 01:19:29,935
Sonny, it's more than a chance.
It's a certainty.

1429
01:19:30,192 --> 01:19:31,390
You're wrong, Dad.

1430
01:19:31,860 --> 01:19:36,106
You can be scared that I might get
pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood...

1431
01:19:36,364 --> 01:19:38,238
...or break my legs skiing.

1432
01:19:38,491 --> 01:19:42,275
But don't be scared about me
being a dad, because I will not fail.

1433
01:19:42,745 --> 01:19:44,453
I love this kid too much.

1434
01:19:44,705 --> 01:19:47,160
I love him as much as
you love me, Dad.

1435
01:19:47,499 --> 01:19:50,072
I'm gonna give him advice
and I'm gonna guide him...

1436
01:19:50,335 --> 01:19:52,493
...and I'll be there
whenever he needs me.

1437
01:19:52,879 --> 01:19:55,631
I'll fly to New York to be
at his court case...

1438
01:19:55,882 --> 01:19:58,752
...even if I disagree with
why he's there.

1439
01:19:59,260 --> 01:20:02,379
But, Sonny, you work in a tollbooth.

1440
01:20:02,680 --> 01:20:03,960
Don't worry about money.

1441
01:20:04,223 --> 01:20:07,389
I am in love with a beautiful girl
who makes plenty of it.

1442
01:20:07,726 --> 01:20:09,932
She'll be my sugar mama.

1443
01:20:11,229 --> 01:20:12,807
I gotta get me one of those.

1444
01:20:14,023 --> 01:20:17,558
I know this is the right thing
because I would die for this kid...

1445
01:20:17,819 --> 01:20:20,274
...just so he won't feel
one ounce of sadness.

1446
01:20:20,529 --> 01:20:24,858
That's why you're here right now,
to protect me, to be scared for me...

1447
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:27,157
...to be a good father.

1448
01:20:28,161 --> 01:20:30,450
And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.

1449
01:20:35,084 --> 01:20:36,662
Hello, Dad?

1450
01:20:37,086 --> 01:20:39,375
Yeah, I just wanted to say I love you.

1451
01:20:39,714 --> 01:20:43,082
Hi, Mom? Could you put Dad
on the phone for a second?

1452
01:20:46,428 --> 01:20:48,421
Can I borrow that when you're done?

1453
01:20:49,222 --> 01:20:50,717
Your Honor...

1454
01:20:52,100 --> 01:20:53,843
...my son deserves this kid.

1455
01:21:05,904 --> 01:21:07,564
I love you too, sir.

1456
01:21:09,574 --> 01:21:11,199
Mr. Koufax...

1457
01:21:11,660 --> 01:21:14,151
...the fact is
you kidnapped this child.

1458
01:21:14,412 --> 01:21:16,203
Not only shouldn't you get custody...

1459
01:21:16,456 --> 01:21:19,540
...but since you obtained him
by defrauding the state...

1460
01:21:19,792 --> 01:21:21,785
...you should be in jail.

1461
01:21:22,128 --> 01:21:25,579
Bailiff, remand him until
I can figure out the punishment.

1462
01:21:25,839 --> 01:21:27,748
Wait. You can't take him away.

1463
01:21:29,593 --> 01:21:32,344
As that boy's father,
I refuse to press charges.

1464
01:21:34,681 --> 01:21:37,302
Oh, God. Corinne, I'm sorry.

1465
01:21:37,558 --> 01:21:40,014
Six years ago, Joe Carter...

1466
01:21:40,269 --> 01:21:41,348
Joe Carter?

1467
01:21:41,604 --> 01:21:43,845
Toronto and the Phillies.
World Series.

1468
01:21:44,315 --> 01:21:46,722
Mitch Williams...
We flew up for the night.

1469
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:49,902
There was a girl.

1470
01:21:50,153 --> 01:21:51,067
Oh, God.

1471
01:21:51,321 --> 01:21:53,728
I'm an idiot. I was so hammered.

1472
01:21:53,990 --> 01:21:57,157
Chicken wings, Molson 3-0.
Canadian beer is like moonshine.

1473
01:21:57,410 --> 01:21:58,525
Hell, yes.

1474
01:21:58,786 --> 01:22:01,158
You remember?
It was at that Toronto Hooters.

1475
01:22:03,791 --> 01:22:07,705
That was before he met you.
That Hooters thing is a coincidence.

1476
01:22:07,961 --> 01:22:09,290
I'm sorry, Corinne.

1477
01:22:09,546 --> 01:22:13,460
I know this changes everything,
but I had to do the right thing.

1478
01:22:15,552 --> 01:22:16,880
Mr. Castellucci.

1479
01:22:18,846 --> 01:22:21,053
Pending a blood test, I...

1480
01:22:21,265 --> 01:22:22,214
Whatever.

1481
01:22:22,475 --> 01:22:27,302
The court grants custody to Kevin
Gerrity, pending the DNA test results.

1482
01:22:32,234 --> 01:22:35,270
I want you to be my dad, Sonny.

1483
01:22:35,695 --> 01:22:37,604
I know. I do too, pal.

1484
01:22:37,864 --> 01:22:41,944
But I'm not sure that can happen
exactly the way we want it.

1485
01:22:42,201 --> 01:22:45,036
Because it seems you
already have a daddy.

1486
01:22:45,496 --> 01:22:47,535
But I'll tell you what I can do.

1487
01:22:47,831 --> 01:22:51,200
I can be your friend, no matter what.
All right?

1488
01:22:51,460 --> 01:22:53,167
I'll always be your friend.

1489
01:22:53,420 --> 01:22:56,171
I'll always be your family.
I'll always be around.

1490
01:22:56,506 --> 01:22:58,083
I promise.

1491
01:22:58,383 --> 01:23:00,209
The kid's good at tying his shoes.

1492
01:23:00,468 --> 01:23:02,460
He's not great at it,
so work with him.

1493
01:23:02,720 --> 01:23:05,424
- I'll teach him bunny ears.
- What's bunny ears?

1494
01:23:05,681 --> 01:23:08,088
Make bunny ears,
cross and pull them through.

1495
01:23:08,350 --> 01:23:11,801
I go with this loop, swoop
and pull thing. He likes that.

1496
01:23:12,062 --> 01:23:14,897
- I don't know that.
- Go with the loop, swoop and pull.

1497
01:23:15,148 --> 01:23:16,856
I swear to God it's working.

1498
01:23:17,150 --> 01:23:18,312
All right.

1499
01:23:18,860 --> 01:23:23,023
Go with the bunny ears thing.
You're his dad, right? I'm sorry.

1500
01:23:23,280 --> 01:23:25,854
It's important, when you eat
at my restaurant...

1501
01:23:26,116 --> 01:23:28,239
...you never order BLT.

1502
01:23:28,494 --> 01:23:31,115
You must trust me.
Stay away from BLT, okay?

1503
01:23:31,371 --> 01:23:32,450
Hey, guys.

1504
01:23:32,706 --> 01:23:35,161
I'm gonna leave you
with your dad now, Julian.

1505
01:23:35,417 --> 01:23:37,954
He's a good man.
I've known him my whole life.

1506
01:23:38,211 --> 01:23:41,081
So you two have fun
and I'll see you in the morning.

1507
01:23:41,339 --> 01:23:42,453
All right?

1508
01:23:42,715 --> 01:23:45,918
- Quit scaring the kid for a minute.
- Who am I scaring?

1509
01:23:46,176 --> 01:23:47,718
Bye, pal.

1510
01:23:52,474 --> 01:23:54,716
I went to China.
Do you know where that is?

1511
01:23:55,060 --> 01:23:56,470
It's in Asia, which is...

1512
01:23:56,769 --> 01:23:59,439
...by Europe.
I brought some cool stuff back.

1513
01:24:04,276 --> 01:24:06,269
Did you move the bench?

1514
01:24:07,154 --> 01:24:08,233
That's pretty funny.

1515
01:24:09,448 --> 01:24:12,651
You know what I got?
Some noisemakers. Check this out.

1516
01:24:13,827 --> 01:24:15,237
Wanna try one?

1517
01:24:20,958 --> 01:24:22,417
That's my foot!

1518
01:24:45,397 --> 01:24:46,773
You're nice man.

1519
01:24:47,149 --> 01:24:50,269
I've got Spice Channel.
It's blurry but it's nice.

1520
01:24:52,946 --> 01:24:55,069
Let's make this quick.
I gotta get to work.

1521
01:24:55,323 --> 01:24:58,075
Holy shit. Sonny Koufax
would rather work than eat.

1522
01:24:58,326 --> 01:25:02,537
I'm working on a big case.
I gotta sue you for making me come here.

1523
01:25:05,958 --> 01:25:07,666
Surprise!

1524
01:25:10,379 --> 01:25:13,166
Did you just waste
the good surprise on me again?

1525
01:25:15,133 --> 01:25:16,592
Hi, Corinne.

1526
01:25:16,843 --> 01:25:19,085
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks, everybody.

1527
01:25:19,345 --> 01:25:21,053
Hey, you guys. How are you?

1528
01:25:21,305 --> 01:25:23,179
Happy birthday, Daddy.

1529
01:25:24,642 --> 01:25:25,887
How you doing, cutie?

1530
01:25:26,143 --> 01:25:28,895
Sonny, I beat you so bad
in basketball yesterday.

1531
01:25:29,146 --> 01:25:31,767
From now on, I have to
stop letting you win.

1532
01:25:32,024 --> 01:25:34,016
I stopped that months ago.
He still wins.

1533
01:25:34,276 --> 01:25:36,102
That's because you suck.

1534
01:25:36,694 --> 01:25:39,779
Corinne, put a tank top on
for old time's sake.

1535
01:25:40,031 --> 01:25:42,700
- What is he talking about, Mommy?
- Nothing.

1536
01:25:44,201 --> 01:25:46,906
- Happy birthday, Sonny.
- Thank you.

1537
01:25:47,162 --> 01:25:48,158
It's a clock radio.

1538
01:25:48,414 --> 01:25:50,655
- Thanks for telling me.
- I have to split.

1539
01:25:50,916 --> 01:25:52,030
I got deliveries.

1540
01:25:52,292 --> 01:25:54,249
Hang out with us. We'll have fun.

1541
01:25:54,503 --> 01:25:57,503
No, I can't stay.
I'll hang for a little bit.

1542
01:25:57,755 --> 01:26:00,127
There you go. Come on,
let's eat, everybody.

1543
01:26:00,383 --> 01:26:02,671
Hey, you! Still missing
that tooth, huh?

1544
01:26:03,052 --> 01:26:04,167
Can we get some fries?

1545
01:26:06,180 --> 01:26:07,294
Vanessa.

1546
01:26:08,766 --> 01:26:10,176
You're a Hooters girl?

1547
01:26:10,434 --> 01:26:12,841
What happened to Sid's five-year plan?

1548
01:26:17,899 --> 01:26:19,891
How you doing?

1549
01:26:20,568 --> 01:26:24,482
- Maybe it's a 10-year plan.
- Is that the guy with the old balls?

1550
01:26:24,739 --> 01:26:25,652
I think it is.

1551
01:26:26,198 --> 01:26:28,950
Come on. I bet they're nice.

1552
01:26:31,745 --> 01:26:34,034
You're not supposed to say "balls."
Testicles.